Jessica Walter: Lucille Bluth

Arrested Development

Lucille Bluth

Michael Bluth: [calling from prison, taking about his brother, Gob] I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it.
Lucille: You would do that to your brother?
Michael Bluth: I said "cot".

Lucille: You tricked me.
Michael: I *deceived* you. "Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

Lucille: If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally.
Lucille: [earlier that day] I don't care for Gob.

Lindsay Funke: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want the belt to buckle, not your chair.
[server sets a dessert of Bananas Foster on fire]
Lucille: You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.
Lindsay Funke: That's funny, 'cause I was gonna say "You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol."
Lucille: Mine was better.

Narrator: For the first time, Lucille prays...
Lucille: [Praying] Take something else from us. Do whatever you have to to keep my boy from going to war.
Narrator: And Buster is on his way when he decides to pursue a long-delayed rite of passage...
[Buster swims in the ocean]
Person: Loose seal. Watch out for loose seal.
Buster: [Thinking he means Lucille] I don't care about Lucille. She lies.
Narrator: ...and then a seal bites off his hand.
Lucille: Amen.

Lucille: What's a Forget-Me-Now?
Gob: They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. So if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give 'em one of these, and they forget the whole thing. It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit, like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.
Tobias Fünke: Gob, this is Flunitrazepam. It's a roofie.
Lucille: Those are illegal.
Gob: Shut up, Mom. Don't make me give you another one of these.

Lucille: [shrieking at a waiter] Take it back. If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear.

Lucille: The company is in danger.
Michael: What tipped you off? The falling profit margins or the fact that we're a regular feature on Bill O'Reilly's most ridiculous item of the day?

Lucille: [after Michael and GOB switch coolers containing evidence and Kitty gets a hold of them] THERE WERE 250 CCs OF YOUR FATHER'S SEMEN IN THE COOLER IN THE BANANA STAND.
Michael: No touching.

Lucille: [after beating Kitty at a drinking contest] I've got to get back to rehab.
Man at Bar: [in background] SHE'S IN REHAB.
[people cheer]

General Garvey: [Lucille is trying to get Buster out of combat by visiting the General, an old boyfriend of hers from her USO days] I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do.
Lucille: Is there anything *I* can do?
General Garvey: Well, maybe if you go?
[leans back in his chair]
General Garvey: ?downtown.
Lucille: [grins] Oh, I haven't done that in thirty years.
[pauses, then sings]
Lucille: When you're alone and life is making you lonely you can always go downtown.

Barry Zuckerkorn: It would help if you all showed up, looking like a loving, supportive family.
Lucille: For how long?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Ten minutes tops.
Lucille: See if you can get it down to five.

Lucille: I bought it using the new unfrozen stock as soon as I received the memo.
Michael Bluth: You mean, the memo that specifically told you not to sell?
Lucille: Did it say that? I stopped after "unfrozen."