James Fox credited as playing...
Mr. Salt
- Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels, I want one!
- Mr. Salt: Veruca dear, you have many marvelous pets.
- Veruca Salt: All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!
- Mr. Salt: All right, pet. Daddy'll get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can.
- Veruca Salt: But I don't want any old squirrel! I want a *trained* squirrel!
- Mr. Salt: [wearily] Very well. Mr. Wonka? How much do you want for one of these squirrels? Name your price.
- Willy Wonka: Oh they're not for sale. She can't have one.
- Veruca Salt: Daddy!
- Willy Wonka: [imitating Mr. Salt] I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.
- Mr. Salt: [as the squirrels take Veruca] Where are they taking her?
- Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad nuts go, to the garbage chute.
- Mr. Salt: Where does the chute go?
- Willy Wonka: To the incinerator. But don't worry, we only light it on Tuesdays.
- Mike Teavee: Today *is* Tuesday.
- Willy Wonka: [after a pause] Well, there's always a chance they decided not to light it today.
- Willy Wonka: [about Violet grabbing the gum] I'd rather you didn't. There's still one or two things that are a...
- Violet Beauregarde: I'm the World Record holder in chewing gum. I'm not afraid of anything!
- [pops the gum in her mouth]
- Mrs. Beauregarde: How is it, honey?
- Violet Beauregarde: It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat!
- Willy Wonka: Yeah! Spit it out.
- Grandpa Joe: Young lady, I think you'd better...
- Violet Beauregarde: It's changing... roast beef and baked potato. Crispy skin and butter!
- Mrs. Beauregarde: Keep chewin' kiddo! My little girl's gonna be the first person in the world to have a chewing gum meal!
- Willy Wonka: Yeah. I'm just a little concerned about the...
- Violet Beauregarde: Blueberry pie and ice cream!
- Willy Wonka: That part.
- Veruca Salt: [staring at Violet] What's happening to her nose?
- [Violet keeps chewing and her nose starts turning blue]
- Mr. Salt: You're turning blue!
- Mrs. Beauregarde: Your whole nose has gone purple!
- Violet Beauregarde: [touching her nose] W-What do you mean?
- Mrs. Beauregarde: Violet, you're turning violet!
- [to Wonka; concerned]
- Mrs. Beauregarde: What's happening?
- Willy Wonka: Well, I told you I hadn't quite got it right, 'cause it goes a little funny when it gets to the dessert. It's the Blueberry Pie that does it. I'm terribly sorry!
- Violet Beauregarde: Mother, what's happening to me?
- [continues to turn blue and starts to grow]
- Grandpa Joe: She's swelling up!
- Charlie Bucket: Like a blueberry!
- Willy Wonka: [to Mrs. Beauregarde] I've tried it on, like, twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's just weird!
- Mrs. Beauregarde: But I can't have a blueberry as a daughter. How is she supposed to compete?
- Veruca Salt: You could put her in a county fair!
- [Wonka laughs]
- Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want a flying glass elevator!
- Mr. Salt: Veruca, the only thing you're getting today is a bath, and that's final!
- Veruca Salt: But I want it!
- Willy Wonka: And the rest of you must be their p-p-...
- Mr. Salt: Parents?
- Willy Wonka: Yeah! Moms and dads!
- [expression darkens]
- Willy Wonka: Dad? Papa?
- Mike Teavee: [seeing the Oompa-Loompas for the first time] Are they real people?
- Willy Wonka: Of course they're real people. They're Oompa Loompas.
- Mr. Salt: Oompa Loompas?
- Willy Wonka: Imported. Direct from Loompaland.
- Mr. Teavee: There's no such place.
- Willy Wonka: What?
- Mr. Teavee: Mr. Wonka, I teach high school geography, and I'm here to tell you...
- Willy Wonka: Well, then, you'll know all about it and, oh, what a terrible country it is.
- Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, I was having a flashback.
- Mr. Salt: I see.
- Mr. Teavee: These flashbacks happen often?
- Willy Wonka: Increasingly... today.
- Veruca Salt: [outside the Chocolate Factory] Daddy, I want to go in.
- Mr. Salt: It's 9:59, sweetheart.
- Veruca Salt: Make time go faster.
- Mr. Salt: Are you using the Havermax 4000 to do your sorting?
- Willy Wonka: No.
- [laughs]
- Willy Wonka: You're really weird.
- Mr. Salt: [at the nut sorting room] Ah, this is a room I know all about. For you see, Mr. Wonka, I myself am in the nut business.
- [hands Willy Wonka his business card, and Willy flings it away without looking at it]
- Mr. Teavee: Is it just me, or does Wonka seem a few quarters short of a buck?
- Mr. Salt: I'm sorry, I don't speak American.