Javier Bardem: Felix

Collateral

Felix

Felix: Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Max: No.
Felix: Nor do I. Nor do I, but my children do. They are still small. But do you know who they like even better than Santa Claus? His helper, Pedro el Negro. Black Peter. There's an old Mexican tale that tells of how Santa Claus got so very busy looking out for the good children that he had to hire some help to look out for the bad children. So he hired Pedro. And Santa Claus gave him a list with all the names of all the bad children. And Pedro would come every night to check them out. And the people, the little kids that were misbehaving, that were not saying their prayers, Pedro would leave a little toy donkey on their window. A little burro. And he would come back, and if the children were still misbehaving, Pedro would take them away, and nobody would ever see them again. Now, if I am being Santa Claus, and you are Pedro, how do you think jolly Santa Claus would feel if one day Pedro came into his office and said, 'I lost the list.' How fucking furious do you think he will get?
Max: I think... I think you should tell the guy standing behind me to put his gun away.
Felix: What?
Max: I said, I think you should tell him to put the gun down before I rip it out of his hand and beat his bitch-ass to death with it.

Max: I picked up a tail.
Felix: Federal?
Max: I don't know. You tell me. That's why I tossed the list, the work-ups, all of that shit. To protect, in part, your Hermes, Facconable ass.

Felix: What do you think?
Max: I think...
[Max sees one of Felix's bodyguard draw his gun out]
Max: I think you should you should tell that guy behind me to put his gun down.
Felix: What?
Max: I said I think you should tell that guy behind me to put his gun down, before I take it and beat his bitch ass with it.

Felix: Now you're here. Why?
Max: I lost my stuff. The list.
Felix: I want you to listen to me real well. Special groups put together the list of dedos.
Max: Dedos?
Felix: Fingers, informants. Signal interceptions with voice-recognition software, surveillance. A very expensive counter-intelligence worked up that list. An important list, wouldn't you say? And you lost it?
Max: Yeah, I'm sorry. Sorry.
Felix: Sorry? 'Sorry' does not put Humpty Dumpty back together again.