Touch of Pink

It strikes me first that critics aren't particularly fair to gay themed films and tend to give them lower ratings than they deserve, citing, of course, other reasons. This film was thoroughly enjoyable fun, with terrific performances by all and a perfect one by Kyle MacLachlan as Cary Grant's ghost. It was a fresh, inventive take on the well worn theme of mom visits son and discovers he is gay. This was reminiscent of romantic comedies of the 1940's, which was certainly intentional. I don't think you have to be gay to enjoy it, but cynics beware. It's a light and happy experience. I wished I had Cary Grant hanging around as Alim did.

A remarkably charming homage to a dozen 40's, 50's and 60s romantic comedies. The plot is a standard coming-out-to-mom story, not particularly surprising, but mom and auntie are brilliant. Entire scenes are lifted from Doris Day/Katherine Hepburn/Cary Grant movies.

Kyle MacLachlan as the spirit of Cary Grant mentors a gay Indian man in Toronto and London while the boyfriend charms the sari off of mom. The ambitious and acquisitive relatives plan a ridiculous marriage while the alienated son clings to an integrity no one else bothers with.

At last, a story that's not poignant or heartwarming, just funny and good.

I saw this film at Sundance and was completely surprised at how much I loved it. I am not always into gay-themed films (I'm a straight woman), but this film is really for everyone (open-minded, that is). The story is not new in that it's a romantic comedy, but the journey of the characters (the two leads, and the mother) is a good one. It was funny, and it made me cry...the perfect combination for a film. The actors were great. Especially Kyle MacLachlan, who was SO funny and SO good. I have loved him since "Twin Peaks," but this was just above and beyond anything he has done recently. And Kristen Holden-Reid is my new favorite actor. He has a great presence on screen, and pulled off a flawless English accent. I completely recommend this film.

I noticed the DVD of TOUCH OF PINK at my local Tower store and decided to rent it. Home yesterday with a bad head cold, I popped it into the DVD machine and lost the next hour and 40 minutes to a movie of subtle charm and lovely sentiment.

Alim (Jimi Mistry) is a still photographer working on movie sets in in London where he lives with his lover, Giles (Kristen Hodlen-Reid). A huge fan of vintage movies, Alim has created an imaginary best friend, in the form of Cary Grant (Kyle MacLachlan), who is always at hand to give him advice on what clothing to wear and how to wear them, often helping him out of awkward social situations. Alim is a bit dreary, and at first you think he certainly doesn't deserve the long- suffering Giles, who after a long series of sexual conquests, has finally settled down into domestic bliss with Alim and is very much in love with him.

Meanwhile Alim's mother, Nuru, is unhappily living in Toronto in the shadow of her social climbing sister, Dolly (Veena Sood). Dolly is gleefully spending a great deal of her successful husband's fortune on the upcoming marriage of her only son. Nuru is one of those unfortunate malcontents who never checks her feelings before saying something rude and mean-spirited, and for this bad habit, she's rather disliked by her sister's catty social circle. Depressed with all the attention her sister is receiving, Nuru decides to jump on a plane and visit her son in London. The only problem is she doesn't know he's gay.

Once in London, Nuru's rudeness is aimed at Giles. She is wildly insensitive to her son's life and home, and in general clueless about his life. Giles works hard to break down the barriers and succeeds, taking Nuru out for a day in London, where she has a wonderful time. But in short order, she is startled to find out that Alim and Giles are lovers and she angrily flees back to Toronto, leaving her son miserable and bad-tempered. Giles tries very hard to cheer Alim. Caught up in her own depression, Nuru is nearly catatonic upon coming home. Dolly knows something is wrong, but Nuru won't talk about it.

About the only person who can comfort Alim is Cary Grant. As Alim and Giles relationship continues to tank, Alim decides to go home for the wedding of his cousin. And then Giles turns up in Toronto with all the attendant comic possibilities implied.

I'm surprised at some of the cynical comments about this sweet and gentle comedy of clashing cultures. There's nothing laugh-out-loud funny in this film, which is fine with me. It certainly is a lovely film about reconciliation and acceptance. Nuru is one of the most annoying mothers I've encountered in the movies. She's beautiful and still young, and yet she's so caught up in her culture of getting married to a successful person. Any prospective son or daughter-in-law will have their work cut out for them with this mother-in-law. But when Giles takes her out for the day, she melts and her defenses disappear. The walls come back up in short order, but again fade in the final moments. Giles is certainly a dream lover, but his essential goodness never descends into sainthood. Alim is a bit of a drudge, and he's certainly not very sure of himself. But he's got Cary Grant to keep an eye out for him, and who could ask for anything more? Kyle MacLachlan is wonderfully assured, never overdoing his affectionate impression of the movie legend, delivering his lines effortlessly.

Director Ian Iqbal Rashid steers his fine cast through the thickets of this social comedy with assurance and restraint. I found myself beaming idiotically through this adorable comedy of manners. Resist it not.

WARNING: Not only spoilers but some personal comments/rants

Yeah, the premise is stale - multicultural (white/non-american) gay couple, homophobic mother, coming out etc. For most people, Cary Grant/Kyle Maclahan was the best aspect of the movie. Kyle Maclahan has clearly enjoyed himself, and it is a delight to watch him perform. But there is more to the movie. It is surprisingly realistic! Now reviewers I have a lot of respect for, including NY Times, have been harsh on the movie and that is understandable even though it's surprising. In my humble opinion, based on living in the South Asian culture for 27+ years of my life, I beg to differ.

The fundamental difference between the "Western" culture and the "Asian" culture, as I can see, is the disproportionate emphasis on family in Asian culture as opposed to individuality, privacy, and personal space. To give you an example, in all the time I lived in India (the first 22 years of my life), I never had my "own" room. Even my parents didn't have their bedroom. Everyone slept in the living room. We shared closets for keeping clothes, shelves for books etc. People grow up differently under such circumstances. You learn to "sacrifice" for the sake of family. A tremendous amount of the individual pride in the Western culture - all that living your life to the fullest extent, being what you want to be in life, making your own choices and learning to take responsibility for them - is lost. It resurfaces as family pride. You do everything for your family. Your family has to be the best it can be. Your choices are guided by the ultimate prestige of the family. The elders (the heads of the family) make the choices for the younger ones. You would live at your parents' house till you are married to a person of opposite sex and once your parents retire, you and your spouse become heads of the family. Then its your turn. Even then you can't make decisions based on your preferences but based on what is "appropriate" to maintain and build the prestige of the family.

I am probably saying stuff people think they know. You really don't until you experience it. I've found my American friends find all the Indian movies (Bollywood) very amusing with all its over-the-top melodrama. Having lived in US for 5+ years, I find it over-the-top and am turned off by it most of the time. But when I do sit and watch an Indian movie, I'm sucked into it at some point. I've always wondered why. The reason is this: in India, people actually live like that. My parents are living proofs for this fact. Everything is turned into an emotional blackmail so that I uphold the prestige of the family and help my parents "win" in their social life. Yes, parents actually consider arranged marriages of their children as personal victories in upholding family prestige and "love" marriages of their children as personal failures. Oh, the fact that I'm gay doesn't even enter the picture! So, for all its unbelievability and over-the-top amateur production values, this movie is indeed believable, simply because I have heard this very dialog from my own mother about plunging a knife in her heart for something much less trivial than falling in love with a "phirangi" - a foreign (different skin-colored) woman. Is my mom a selfish controlling monster? She probably is, according to Western culture, because she wants me to marry a South Indian, Iyengar Brahmin girl of good heritage despite the fact that I am gay, and that she'd throw much worse tantrums than Nuru ever did in the movie. But then, I know my mom better. I know the kind of personal sacrifices she did for the sake of her family, sacrifices that would have been called foolish, stupid, and naiveté by Western culture. Now I won't marry a girl and "sacrifice" like her, but I do understand that in my mom is a manipulator and a victim. I completely understand why Alim went to Toronto after his mom than stay in London and go after Giles.

The movie touched me personally despite being flawed in many ways. Jimi Mistry's performance was horrible and Giles and Alim had almost no chemistry. The production values were amateurish. The biggest problem for me with the movie was that Alim's character was not fleshed out at all even in the screenplay level. Despite all that, the movie rang true in a number of levels for me and did not stereotype or reduce the issue of a gay man coming out in an Indian culture to a caricature. I applaud Ian Iqbal Rashid for that.

7 out of 10