Alfie

The tagline for the new film 'Alfie' ask us, what's it all about? The answer, unfortunately, is that it's about sheer disappointment.

The film focuses solely on Alfie Elkins, a swinging young womanizer packed with style and a charm that could only be British. After an all too brief introduction to our protagonist and his long list of lady-friends, some kind of plot begins to develop – sort of. We move through far too many completely unrelated situations, all of which only have any relevance at all because of their connection to our main character.

The film does almost nothing to stay focused on a character or situation long enough to develop anything genuine; one minute we have the beginnings of a story with one girl, the next minute we're on to something completely different. You may hope that the film returns to these unfinished story arcs, but it rarely does. And those special times when the story comes back to something that was left unfinished, the film manages to once again leave the story too quickly, adding further loose ends and unresolved issues.

This episodic structure does give the film a pace that is representational of Alfie's dating life – constantly moving from one thing to another, never letting anything unfold – but this does not work to the advantage of the film. Rather than giving it an interesting structure that parallels the story, it creates confusion and disorientation, and even worse than that – a loss of the empathy for the characters that would be present if the film took the time to develop characters and stories properly.

In fact, just about everything in the film lacks conviction, particularly in the places where it is needed the most; moments that should provoke emotion tend to leave the audience wanting something more substantial, which once again is an issue with the film's poor use of development.

If it weren't for Jude Law's charming performance as Alfie Elkins, the film would collapse entirely under its own poor craft. Of course, this is not at all to say that Law saves the film; he does nothing of the sort. His performance, strong as always, just happens to stop the film from being a complete waste of time. His energy is strong and his talent is clear, but it is not enough to bring the film to that next level of quality.

The photography and cinematography, while positively beautiful at times, is staggeringly inconsistent and often not at all fitting to the film's needs. Portions of the film are very nicely photographed, which almost seems like a waste of talent. A spiffy paint job on a car may be appealing to the eye, but why even bother if the car doesn't have an engine? This is precisely what Alfie is all about: some nice looks and a fairly strong performance, but sadly there is no engine to be found.

Not a lot of people know this, but Terence Stamp first played the role of Alfie on stage over thirty years ago. He was then offered the film role, but turned it down. His flatmate, a struggling up and coming actor, tried to convince him to take the part, but Terence was not budging. And so his flatmate took the role. His name, was Michael Caine, and that film, Alfie, spring boarded the young actor to be the most famous cockney in the world. Of all Caine's films this ranks alongside Get Carter and The Italian Job as his best, and so why re-make it I hear you cry! Hollywood had a go at remaking The Italian Job and Get Carter but only came out with turkeys so big you couldn't fit them in your oven. But instead of remaking a Michael Caine film that wasn't good (THE SWARM, BLAME IT ON RIO!) Caine's golden classic Alfie has had the makeover, with pretty boy Jude Law bought in to ask what it's all about. Well for those who don't know what it's all about, Alfie's world is women, pulling them and dumping them. Sounds a little cold, but that is Alfie, a bird puller extraordinaire who lives for the conquests, but soon bores of them whenever commitment rears it's ugly head. Of course Alfie has to be bought down a peg or two, and this happens as a result of another conquest, which has further reaching consequences than Alfie can realize. But should Alfie have been dusted down for the 2004 audience? Well the answer is no. But why? Well, to analyse this we have to go back to the beginning and what Alfie was in Caine's day. Alfie was a man about town stuck in the poor end of London, sleeping his way through a never ending supply of 'birds' while fighting his working class shackles. Back then women were not the powerful sex they are today, at least not on the cinema screen, and were happy to get Alfie's dinner and scrub his floors. Now lets look at Jude Laws Alfie, living in present day New York, and sleeping with a seemingly never ending amount of stunners, who all seem to be getting as much out of him as he gets out of them. And so what's he got to fight against? Not his surroundings (he's in glamorous Manhattan) and his job isn't that bad (still a driver, but look at the perks), and he even likes the kid of one of his girlfriends. And so he's a nice guy, and there is problem 1, bang goes Alfie's cold side. And so what we are left with is a man who lives in New York and finds it hard to commit. Hardly a rare phenomenon. Problem number 2 is the original Alfie movie's use of the shock factor. Denholm Elliott turning up to do a back street abortion was enough to make some walk out the cinema in 1966. In this film the subject of abortion, although delicately handled, has lost it's cinematic impact, which is no doubt due to the three decades that has passed between films. And so we come to problem number 3, the films flaw being that the Alfie of today is simply not as relevant to the Alfie of yesterday. Today we have 'Sex and the City', empowered women, whom one can't help but feel would eat Alfie up alive. Indeed, the film would be more realistic if the lead was a female, although that would send traditionalists (like myself) running up the nearest tree. The makers of this re-make obviously think that illnesses has to be stepped up, and so while Caine's Alfie was given shadows on his lung to make him give pause, Law's Alfie gets a lump on his…erm…'Big Ben' (I hope to God that's not the new word for it) But what about performances? Well, Law as Alfie is fine, giving emotion where its needed, although his performance does not bounce along like Caines did. When Caine spoke to the camera, immediately breaking the fourth wall and bonding with the audience, it was the height of cool, when Law does the same it feels cheesy, and like cheese, it soon starts to grate. Susan Sarandon, as the sexy older woman, certainly fulfils her characters description, while Sienna Miller gives a promising portrayal as a young women who looks like a young Marianne Faithful (circa 1965) minus her Rolling Stone. And so the blame for the films failure cannot be left at its actors doors, nor its director. The film is simply a victim of its time. Alfie belongs in the sixties, when the world (or London at least) was swinging. Right now the only thing swinging is the cinema doors, and that's because I've just left.

This was one of the worst movies that I have been subjected to in a long time. It didn't quite know if it was: A) a chick flick because of Jude Law consuming the screen every single moment B) a manly flick because of all the hot women running around half naked.

C) Or just a hodge podge of doomed relationships/one night stands.

The movie didn't quite know what it was and left us in the same perturbed state as its main character.

Jude was adorable, the NYC life was fun to watch, but overall the movie lacked substance. And not to mention the lack of social awareness when it came to the women in the film.

Stay away... unless of course you have an undying love for Jude Law. But after sitting through this your love will wither away!

Bravo! A remake that tops the original! I loved this movie. Kudos to Charles Shyer, Jude Law, and screenwriter Elaine Pope for making this awesome movie! Sure, I wish Michael Caine could have played the role of Joe and Shirley Winters had played Alfie's neighbor, but other than that I totally dug the film.

Oh! And too bad the Rolling Stones didn't do the music. Sure, Mick Jagger and Dave Stewart did a great job, but if the Stones had done the music? Man! That woulda been ultra awesome! But yeah, this is a great story of a pretty boy Englishman ladies man and his trials and tribulations in modern day Manhattan! Great new setting for the remake! I think Alfie should have driven a motorcycle. A Rune. Other than his Vespa. I think the Vespa worked. But it wasn't ballsy enough I think. Still, it worked for the retro 60's vibe they were going for.

The rest of the cast is perfect. Nia Long and Omar Epps are perfectly cast. And Jude Law? Whoa, this is one of his best performances. And Alfie's words about F.B.B. -- face, boobs, bum! And how those things are what matter most to men. Too true.

And Jane Krakowski was great in her role. The scene where she is in the limo. It had a kind of S&M feel to it with her hands in those straps. And man, her legs! Awesome! She is smokin' hot! You see just a bit of her naked bum in a shot where she walks off to meet her husband Phil the Pill after saying bye to Alfie. Hmmmmmmmm. Hot stuff.

This is more of a guy flick than a chick flick. Hell, a story about a guy getting women left and right? Now that's a dick flick! HA! I liked lots of little details about this film. Alfie's relationship with Julie and the scene where she makes him a late night dinner of chili and French bread. Yum! And Alfie selecting his wardrobe of Gucci and pink shirt at the start of the film. I could never wear that color but it works in this flick! And the ending. Man! Heartbreaking, tragic and magic! A guy who is doomed. But maybe there is some hope for him. Maybe. And! This is probably the old Charles Shyer directed film I've ever loved.

Old habits die hard. As does the memory of this great movie.

What's it all about? (opening line from the original-movie 1966)

"Alfie" is a remake of the 1966 British film that made an international star of Michael Caine. It takes a story very much associated with a particular time and place -- London in the swinging '60s -- and successfully transplants it to modern-day New York City. The cockney lothario played by Caine has been turned into a working-class British émigré played by Jude Law, who makes Alfie a bit less cockney and a bit more self-aware.

Alfie's a smooth talking Londoner in New York who does his very best to avoid succumbing to the dreaded 'c' word commitment. Along the way, we're introduced to some of his ladies on the go – Dorie, Julie, Liz and Nikki, to name but a few.

Like the earlier "Alfie," it's the story of a sexually promiscuous man. Alfie (Law), a chauffeur, lives in a small Manhattan apartment and dedicates his life to seducing women. Talking directly into the camera, and preening with a self-satisfaction so complete as to seem a form of innocence, he expounds on clothes, the proper application of cologne and the various rules he employs in his libidinous pursuits. His goal, it seems, is to have sex with as many women as possible but to get close to none of them.

Each one starts off as a fling, but somehow manages to influence Alfie's life. He slowly starts to realize that he is actually alone and that there is more to life than what he has done so far.

Like the earlier "Alfie," the new version could be called a cautionary tale, about a way of life that leads to the existential confusion embodied in the famous catchphrase, "What's it all about?"

Anyone we know in it? Jude Law is fresh and funny as Alfie, with just the right amount of smug attitude. The stunning Sienna Miller is the beautiful but 'damaged' Nikki, and Susan Sarandon sizzles as the sexy older woman, Liz. There's also Marisa Tomei (Julie), Nia Long (Lonette) and Omar Epps plays Alfie's best friend, Marlon.

Would I recommend it? Definitely. Although remakes do not usually come through smelling of roses, this one does. It's fresh, colourful and funny. Jude Law is magnificent, introducing us to a slightly warmer side of Alfie than Michael Caine.