Jennifer Esposito credited as playing...
Ria
- Graham: [on the phone] Mom, I can't talk to you right now, okay? I'm having sex with a white woman.
- [hangs up, and Ria gets out of bed]
- Graham: OK, where were we?
- Ria: I was white, and you were about to jerk off in the shower.
- Graham: Oh, shit. Come on. I would have said you were Mexican, but I don't think it would have pissed her off as much.
- Ria: Why do you keep everybody a certain distance, huh? What, you start to feel something and panic?
- Graham: Come on, Maria. You're just pissed 'cause I answered the phone.
- Ria: That's just where I begin to get pissed. I mean, really, what kind of man speaks to his mother that way, huh?
- Graham: Oh, this is about my mother. What do you know about my mother?
- Ria: If I was your father, I'd kick your fucking ass.
- Graham: OK, I was raised badly. Why don't you take your clothes off, get back into bed, and teach me a lesson?
- Ria: You want a lesson? I'll give you a lesson. How 'bout a geography lesson? My father's from Puerto Rico. My mother's from El Salvador. Neither one of those is Mexico.
- Graham: Ah. Well then I guess the big mystery is, who gathered all those remarkably different cultures together and taught them all how to park their cars on their lawns?
- Ria: Graham, I think we got rear ended. I think we spun around twice, and somewhere in there, one of us lost our frame of reference. And I'm going to look for it.
- Motorcycle Cop: Calm down, ma'am.
- Kim Lee: I am calm.
- Motorcycle Cop: I need to see your registration and insurance.
- Kim Lee: Why? Not my fault! It's her fault! She do this!
- Ria: [approaching] My fault?
- Motorcycle Cop: Ma'am, you really need to wait in your vehicle.
- Ria: [appraoching] My fault?
- Kim Lee: Stop in the middle of street! Mexicans! No know how to drive! She blake too fast!
- Ria: I "blake" too fast? I "blake" too fast? I'm sorry, you no see my "blake lights"?
- Motorcycle Cop: [to Ria] Ma'am...
- Ria: [to Kim Lee] See, I stop when I see long line of cars stop in front of me. Maybe you see over steering wheel, you "blake" too.
- Motorcycle Cop: [to Ria] Ma'am...
- Ria: Officer, can you please write down in your report how shocked I am to be hit by an Asian driver?