Rachel McAdams credited as playing...
Regina George
- Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.
- Regina: Is butter a carb?
- Cady: [Rudely] YES.
- Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
- Regina: So...?
- Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.
- Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
- Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
- Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!
- Gretchen: You can't sit with us!
- Regina: [pause] These sweatpants are all that fits me right now.
- Regina: [after being ignored] Fine! You can walk home, bitches.
- Regina: Why don't I know you?
- Cady: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
- Regina: What?
- Cady: I used to be home-schooled.
- Regina: Wait... what?
- Cady: My mom taught me at home...
- Regina: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not retarded! So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up!
- Cady: I didn't say anything.
- Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
- Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
- Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
- Lea Edwards: Thanks.
- Regina: [after girl walks away] That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.
- Shane Oman: Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?
- Regina: Because I'm starving.
- Shane Oman: Man, I hate those things.
- Regina: Oh, really? And why is that?
- Shane Oman: Because Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.
- Regina: What?
- Shane Oman: They make you gain weight like crazy.
- [Regina spits out the bite of the bar that she was chewing, and then lets out a high-pitched scream]
- Regina: I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.
- Karen: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?
- Regina: I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you're so stupid!
- [Regina leaves, Gretchen follows]
- Gretchen: Wait, Regina! Talk to me!
- Regina: No one understands me...
- Gretchen: I understand you!
- [Regina & Gretchen's voices fade out]
- Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
- Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!
- Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.
- Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?
- Cady: No no no... Anything else?
- Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
- Cady: What do you mean?
- Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
- Cady: Really? That's amazing.
- Karen: Well... they can tell when it's raining.
- Cady: [after humiliating Regina] Regina, wait! I didn't mean for this to happen!
- Regina: To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!
- Cady: Regina, please! Regina, stop!
- Regina: [turns to Cady and screams as she walks toward her] Do you know what everyone says about you? They say that you're nothing but a home-schooled jungle freak, who happens to be a less hot version of me! Yeah! So don't bother trying to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology and stuff it right up your hairy...
- [gets hit by a bus]
- Cady: [voice-over] And that's how Regina George died. No, I'm totally kidding. But the fact is, she did get hurt. Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around. But that's just a rumor. Some people swear they saw me push her right in front of the bus. That was an even worse rumor.
- Cady: Hey!
- Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
- Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
- Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
- Regina George: She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?
- Shane Oman: You're right, hon.
- Regina George: I like *invented* her, you know what I mean?
- Karen: God. My hips are huge!
- Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
- Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
- Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
- Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
- Regina: My pores are huge.
- Karen: My nail beds suck.
- [pause. All look at Cady]
- Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
- Karen: Ew!
- Joan the Secretary: And finally, the nominees for 'Spring Fling Queen'! Regina George...
- [class applauds]
- Joan the Secretary: Gretchen Weiners.
- [class applauds and Gretchen responds breathlessly]
- Joan the Secretary: Janis Ian.
- [class applauds]
- Regina: [confused] What is happening to the world?
- Janis: Damien!
- [Janis shoves Damien]
- Damian: I couldn't help myself!
- Joan the Secretary: And finally, Cady Heron!
- [class applauds]
- Cady: Damien? You put me in there, too? That's not part of the plan!
- Damian: I didn't put you in there...
- Cady: [surprised] You mean I'm really nominated?
- Gretchen: [reading from the Burn Book] Trang Pak is a grotsky, little byotch.
- Regina: Still true.
- Gretchen: Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.
- Regina: Still half-true.
- Karen: Amber D'Alessio . She made out with a hot dog.
- Gretchen: Janis Ian - *Dyke.*
- Karen: [pointing to Damien in background of picture] Hey, who is that?
- Gretchen: I think it's that kid, Damien.
- Cady: Yeah, he's almost too gay to function.
- Regina: [as Karen and Gretchen chuckle] That's funny, put that in there.
- Regina George: Wedell on South Boulevard.
- Gretchen: Caller ID
- Regina George: Not when you connect from information.
- Taylor Wedell's Mom: Hello?
- Regina George: Hello, may I please talk to Taylor Wedell?
- Taylor Wedell's Mom: She's not home yet who's calling?
- Regina George: This is Susan from Planned Parenthood, I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can. It's urgent, Thank You.
- [Taylor Wedell's mom faints]
- Regina George: She's not going out with anyone.
- Regina George: 120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?
- Gretchen: Uh, 48 into 120?
- Regina George: I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat.
- Cady: It's 40 percent. Well 48 over 120 equals X over 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of X.
- Regina George: Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.
- Karen: [after being dumped by Aaron, Regina is crying and holding hands with Gretchen and Karen in her bedroom] Did he say why?
- Regina: [sniffling] Somebody told him about Shane Oman.
- Karen: Who?
- Regina: He said some guy on the baseball team.
- Karen: Baseball team?
- Regina: I gave him EVERYTHING. I was half a virgin when I met him!
- Karen: You want to do something fun?
- [looks enlightened]
- Karen: You want to go to Taco Bell?
- Regina: I CAN'T GO TO TACO BELL, I'M ON AN ALL-CARB DIET. God, Karen, you are SO stupid!
- [stomps off]