Johnny Knoxville credited as playing...
Luke Duke
- Uncle Jesse: What do you call a farmer with a sheep under each arm?
- Luke Duke: What?
- Uncle Jesse: A playboy.
- Uncle Jesse: [after Luke crashes through a police roadblock] Give me your goddamn licence!
- Luke Duke: What license?
- Uncle Jesse: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
- Luke Duke: What?
- Uncle Jesse: A piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye.
- Luke Duke: [while Bo and Luke are getting arrested in the courthouse] Well, now, I guess the party's over.
- Boss Hogg: Dam right it is! As long as I'm the County Commissioner in the great State of Georgia, you two are gonna rot in the penitentiary. Cuff them!
- Daisy Duke: Excuse me, Rick Shankley? I believe the governor has a statement to make.
- Governor Jim Applewhite: I do?
- Daisy Duke: Yes, sir. You were going to tell everyone about how these boys are heroes for saving Hazzard County.
- Governor Jim Applewhite: As everyone knows, I have always been a great friend to the environment, and these boys are environmental heroes!
- Uncle Jesse: And you're going to pardon them for all of their crimes, huh?
- Governor Jim Applewhite: Moreover, as Governor, I hereby pardon these boys for any and all offenses against the great State of Georgia. Go 'Dogs!
- Uncle Jesse: Governor, I want to thank you for pardoning me too.
- Boss Hogg: Pardon you for what?
- Uncle Jesse: For this!
- [Uncle Jesse punches Boss Hogg in the mouth]
- Governor Jim Applewhite: Oh, what the hell. I pardon him too!
- Luke Duke: You thinkin' about throwin' that?
- Uncle Jesse: Oh, I'm gonna throw it... I was thinkin' about pussy.
- Uncle Jesse: You know why tornadoes and blonds are so much alike?
- Luke Duke: No.
- Uncle Jesse: At first, there's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then you lose your house.
- Bo Duke: [during car chase in Atlanta] Okay where's the highway?
- Katie Johnson: I don't know don't you have a map?
- Luke Duke: Wait!
- [Luke pulls out a ma]
- Luke Duke: i got it... Turn left up here. Tur left. turn left!
- [Bo turns right]
- Luke Duke: Dammit! I said left!
- Bo Duke: I thought you said your left!
- Luke Duke: My left is your left!
- Bo Duke: I'm going to need these directions faster alright!
- Luke Duke: It's okay. I know exactly where wer'e at
- [Map flies out the window]
- Luke Duke: [Uncle Jesse takes a big gulp of moonshine while being pursued by the police] Stop that! Why are doin' that?
- Uncle Jesse: What I'm about to do, I don't want to remember a lot of it.
- [lights a wick in the jar and throws it at the police car chasing them]
- Deputy Enos Strate: If Sheriff Rosco knew I was here, Boss Hogg would tan my hide.
- Luke Duke: He spanks you?