Will Ferrell credited as playing...
Ted - Man with the Yellow Hat
- Cab Driver: Where you headed, Yellow?
- Ted: Bloomsberry Museum, and I'll give you an extra ten if you don't call me "yellow", Okay?
- Cab Driver: Sure thing, Sunshine.
- Mr. Bloomsberry: I knew you wouldn't let me down.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: I have to admit I came pretty close.
- Mr. Bloomsberry: Oh no, I'm so proud of you. You're like the son I never had.
- Junior Bloomsberry: Father, I'm you're son. Remember?
- Mr. Bloomsberry: Well, yes. But I had you.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: His magnificent idol looks like it came out of a cereal box!
- Junior Bloomsberry: Wow. That must be a huge box of cereal.
- Clovis: That's a lot of yellow for one man.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: I thought you were color-blind.
- Clovis: I can see that!
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: You know, the word Zagawa means enlightenment?
- Edu: Of course I know. I live here!
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: The world doesn't need another parking lot. It needs a place where kid's minds can grow.
- Junior Bloomsberry: Exactly, so I was thinking they can grow by counting all the spaces on the parking lot. Come on, how fun is that?
- Animal Control Receptionist: Animal Control Hotline. How can we help you?
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: I need you to come to the Bloomsbury Institute right away. There's a very dangerous monkey.
- Animal Control Receptionist: Can you describe dangerous, sir?
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Well, he's frothing at the mouth, has teeth like Ginzu knives, and-and crazy eyes. He's a killer! Listen to this
- [makes monkey noises]
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Hey, put down that child! Oh, the horror!
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: The real way to learn anything is to go out and experience it and let your curiousity lead you.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: George is gone. It's all my fault.
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: You're right.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Huh?
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: Ted, do you want to hear what you want to hear, or what you should hear?
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Uh... Could you run that by me again?
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: Do you want to hear the truth which you should hear and I'll tell you, and not just what you think you want to hear? The truth is that George is gone and it is you're fault. Now the question is, what are you going to do about it?
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: What's the difference between Neanderthal man and Cro-Magnon man? Linguistic competence and polychromatic cave paintings.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: And you! Hiring a monkey to paint your apartment. How can you sleep nights?
- Ivan: [with a thick Russian accent] If I find pet, you are evicted.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: E-what-ed?
- Ivan: [enunciating] E-vic-ted
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: It is the same hat! And the same monkey! You followed me all the way from Africa? To Play peekaboo?
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Hey, there are lines painted on the street for a reason!
- [loud honking]
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Oh, yeah? Well, that is physically impossible for me to do! So there!
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Shake that tree all you want. You won't find any bananas up there. But if you find a 40-foot idol, let me know.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Lungfish!
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: Excuse me?
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Next Thursday. I'm gonna talk to your class about the lungfish. The closest living relative of the tetrapods. It's - it's pretty great.
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: I look forward to hearing it. You know I look forward to all of your Thursday lectures. I wish today was Thursday.
- [pulls the ball pole from the rope barrier. The Rope barrier falls to the floor]
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: Oh.
- [Ted and Maggie pick up the rope barrier]
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: I mean. I know that it's Thursday. I just... When it's not.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Don't worry. It's not a big deal.
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: I wish it was.
- [hands ball pole to Ted]
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: Here. I should go catch up to my lungfish. I mean class!
- [to herself]
- Miss Maggie Dunlop: Way to go, Maggie. Way to go.
- Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: I'll see you next week, Mrs. Dunlop.