Jenni Farley credited as playing...
JWoww
- Ronnie: What are you, crazy? That's assault!
- Moe: Heres your pepper. Shut up.
- [Moe slaps him]
- The Situation: My man!
- Ronnie: Who asked ya, muscle-head?
- [Moe pokes him in the head]
- JWoww: Moe! You can't just go around hitting people.
- Moe: No? Well, can I do this?
- [Moe plucks out her nose hair]
- Moe: Hmm, rare bouquet.
- [Foster the People's "Waste" plays throughout the montage; Larry and Curly watch Moe on "Jersey Shore" on a TV in an electronics store window]
- Moe: [on "Jersey Shore"] Is that what you think? Shut up!
- [Moe slaps Ronnie]
- The Situation: Hey, yo!
- [Moe slaps The Situation]
- Moe: You, too! Here's another one!
- [Moe slaps Ronnie]
- Moe: [Moe sits down next to Snooki, who is reading a book] Hiya, Snook, I got you a present.
- Snooki: Really? For me?
- Moe: Yeah, go on, open it.
- Snooki: [Snooki opens the box, and then Moe delivers a finger poke to her eyes when she discovers the box is empty] Ow!
- Moe: [Moe laughs, with Curly and Larry chuckling at Moe's antics; the scene changes to Larry and Curly sleeping in a dumpster, with Curly dreaming about dancing around in a field of bubbles with Moe and Larry; the scene shifts back to Moe on the set of "Jersey Shore"] Why, you...!
- Moe: [Moe slaps the side of Ronnie's face and his forehead, then he slaps The Situation's face] There you go!
- Moe: [the "Jersey Shore" producers watch with delight, as Larry and Curly laugh at Moe's antics; Moe waves his hand up and down in front of JWoww's face] Why, you...
- [Moe lowers his hand to the table, and quickly waves his hand up and down in JWoww's face, making a rhythmic bonking sound; Larry and Curly continue to watch Moe]
- Moe: [Moe holds his fist in front of Ronnie; he hits Moe's fist, which curves upward and hits Ronnie on the head] You see that?
- The Situation: [Ronnie tries to imitate Moe, only for Moe to knock Ronnie's fist back into his own face] You see that?
- Moe: [Moe breaks a pool cue stick on The Situation] Business!
- The Situation: Oh!
- JWoww: [Moe laughs while he holds a hot curling iron on JWoww's tongue] Umph! Umph!
- Moe: [Moe hits The Situation on the nose, then slaps him on the chin] Why, you...!
- Moe: [Larry and Curly continue laughing at Moe's antics as Moe breaks a microwave oven over Ronnie's head, and sets the timer; Ronnie's eyes bulge out of their sockets as the electricity flows] Why, you...!
- Ronnie: How's that Whynatte?
- The Situation: This is, like, my fourth or fifth.
- Sammi: What happened last night?
- The Situation: What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.
- Moe: Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?
- JWoww: Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball.
- The Situation: [laughter] Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?
- Ronnie: Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.
- Moe: Oh, you don't like that cheese.
- Ronnie: No.
- Moe: Well, let's see what we can do about that.
- [Moe picks up the cheese grater]
- Ronnie: What are you doing?
- Teddy: [watching "Jersey Shore" from his bedroom with Lydia] Oh boy, here we go.
- Moe: [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot] How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!
- Ronnie: Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!
- Moe: Here's your pepper. Shut up!
- [Moe slaps Ronnie]
- The Situation: My man!
- Moe: Who asked you, muscle-head!
- [Moe quickly finger-pokes The Situation's eyes]
- Sammi: Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!
- Moe: Oh, no? Well, can I do this?
- [Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril]
- Sammi: Hmm, rare bouquet.
- JWoww: Are you kidding me? Who does this?
- Ronnie: How's that Whynatte?
- The Situation: This is, like, my fourth or fifth.
- Sammi: What happened last night?
- The Situation: What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.
- Moe: Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?
- JWoww: Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball.
- [laughter]
- The Situation: Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?
- Ronnie: Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.
- Moe: Oh, you don't like that cheese.
- Ronnie: No.
- Moe: Well, let's see what we can do about that.
- [Moe picks up the cheese grater]
- Ronnie: What are you doing?
- Teddy: [watching "Jersey Shore" from his bedroom with Lydia] Oh boy, here we go.
- Moe: [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot] How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!
- Ronnie: Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!
- Moe: Here's your pepper, shut up!
- [Moe slaps Ronnie]
- The Situation: My man!
- Moe: [Moe finger-pokes The Situation in the eyes] Who asked you, muscle-head!
- Sammi: Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!
- Moe: Oh, no? Well, can I do this?
- [Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril]
- Sammi: Ow!
- Moe: Hmm, rare bouquet.
- JWoww: Are you kidding me? Who does this?
- Larry: Look, Moe, we owe you an apology.
- Moe: No, fellas, I'm the one who owes you the apology. I know sometimes I tend to fly off the handle and...
- Larry: No, you don't.
- Moe: Yes, I do.
- Curly: No, it's just that you get a little upset and...
- Moe: [Moe flicks Larry and Curly on their noses, and then he slaps Larry and Curly] Shut up when I'm apologizing!
- Larry: We don't have time for that! Teddy's in a jam!
- Curly: Yeah, you know that woman who wanted us to take out her husband?
- [Curly gasps and hisses]
- Curly: She's married to Teddy!
- Moe: No wonder she wanted us to smother him in his sleep!
- Curly: Yeah.
- Moe: I knew I smelled a...
- Snooki, JWoww, Sammi: A rat! A rat! Eek!
- Moe: [Moe picks up Nippy, Curly's pet rat] That's no rat, it's Nippy! How you doing, buddy? Aw, I missed you too, Nips.
- Larry: Come on, we got work to do. We got to get to Teddy before his wife does.
- Moe: Come on.
- Curly: [Curly chuckles, and rhythmically snaps his fingers] Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Rrowff!
- Moe: Come on, Romeo!
- [Moe pulls Curly out of the studio by his ear]
- Moe's Hip Executive: Are you kidding me? There's three of them?