Ann Cusack credited as playing...
Diane Gaines
- Bartleby Gaines: Uh, Dean Lewis why don't you tell them a little bit about the philosophy here at south Harmon?
- Uncle Ben: Look, we throw a lot of fancy words in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the belief that they're gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS! Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long hell of debt and indecision!
- Jack Gaines: I... I, I just don't understand...
- Uncle Ben: DO I HAVE TO SPOON FEED IT TO YA? look, there's only one reason that kids want to go to school...
- Bartleby Gaines: [quietly] Holy shit...
- Jack Gaines: [after long pause] ... Which is?
- Uncle Ben: ...To get a good job... To get a good job, with a great starting salary.
- Jack Gaines: I couldn't agree more.
- Diane Gaines: It is so refreshing to have somebody approach education so rationally!
- Uncle Ben: Fuckin' A!
- Jack Gaines: [on the phone] Tell me what classes you're taking?
- Bartleby Gaines: [on the phone] Classes? Right, I'm taking
- [sees kids playing craps]
- Bartleby Gaines: statistics, and uhh
- [sees kids dealing drugs]
- Bartleby Gaines: business, and
- [sees girl nearly taking her bikini off]
- Bartleby Gaines: an... a... tomy...
- Jack Gaines, Diane Gaines: [on the phone] Anatomy?
- Diane Gaines: Are you huffing?
- Bartleby Gaines: Oh god.
- Diane Gaines: Are you high?
- Jack Gaines: You're huffing grass?
- Bartleby Gaines: No I'm not huffing mom I'm not stoned I'm completely fine, infact I'm more clear and level headed than I've ever been.
- Jack Gaines: Okay cut the crap Bartleby. Society has rules and the first rule is: You go to college. You wanna have a happy and successful life, you go to college. If you wanna be somebody, you go to college. If you wanna fit in, you go to college.
- Bartleby Gaines: Well you know what maybe I didn't get into college!
- Diane Gaines: I knew we should've started preparing for college in junior high, like your sister.
- Jack Gaines: Now she's got a shot.
- Lizzie Gaines: I've got a shot.
- Diane Gaines: She's got a shot.