Diedrich Bader credited as playing...
Joel
- Joel: How do you feel about a push-up bra?
- Gracie Hart: How would you feel about a genital-shocking taser gun?
- Joel: I'm open to it.
- Gracie Hart: ...Okay.
- Sam Fuller: I've got to take her to the bathroom.
- Gracie Hart: I need a tampon!
- Sam Fuller: You heard her, we've got an agent down. We NEED TAMPONS!
- Jenkins: I'm not getting them.
- Hills: I don't even get them for my wife.
- Joel: I guess this is a job for a real man. Any particular brand?
- Joel: [both Hart and Fuller are pointing a gun at Foreman] You see, this is what I like. Learning to work together. A little "Ebony & Ivory" action.
- Jeff Foreman: Guys, I can't do it.
- Sam Fuller: Stop being a wuss, Foreman. Be a man.
- Gracie Hart: Yeah, like Fuller.
- Shirley, Assisted Living Receptionist: [Gracie is disguised as the old mother of Joel to snoop around the nursing home] Are you interested in touring our facilities?
- Joel: Oh, yes, we are very interested. I can't wait to get rid of her.
- Gracie Hart: Oh, don't you listen to him. He's a momma's boy. Come here, cutie. Come here and let me fix your tie.
- [grabs his tie]
- Joel: Oh!
- Gracie Hart: Such a momma's boy!
- Joel: Ma, not now!
- Gracie Hart: Momma's boy face, that's a momma's boy face!
- [smacks him repeatedly on the cheek]
- Joel: [rising] Do you have a euthanasia program?
- Shirley, Assisted Living Receptionist: We just need to fill out some forms. If you'll give me one minute.
- Joel: [Explaining the rules to being the face of the FBI] Rule #1, no hitting.
- Gracie Hart: What?
- Joel: The face of the FBI uses her words, not her fists,
- Gracie Hart: [Gracie goes to grab a chair]
- Joel: or chair.
- Joel: Rule #2, chew with your mouth closed.
- Gracie Hart: You don't know how I eat.
- Joel: [Points out the ketchup stain on Gracie's shirt]
- Joel: [Sarcastically]
- Joel: How would that get there if it didn't fall from an open oraface?
- Gracie Hart: Well maybe I walked under a ketchup tree.
- Gracie Hart: [laughs and snorts]
- Joel: Rule #3, no snorting.
- Joel: Ooh... I hope she's not a fatty.
- FBI Asst. Director Harry McDonald: Hart, Joel Mayers. Joel Mayers, Gracie Hart.
- Gracie Hart: Hi.
- Joel: Oh, yes. I can work with this. I can work with this. Your are going to be my icon.
- Gracie Hart: Hey, calm down.
- Joel: Hmm.