Crash Landing

This film was embarrassing in its clichés, poor acting and generally low production values. It starts out badly with the long haired 3 star general calling the hero, Masters, "major" when he is obviously wearing the silver oak leaves of lieutenant colonel. But what was most distressing was the crew of soldiers on Neptune Atoll. How out of touch with any kind of reality can you get? They were all experts on flying a 747 and the scenes of the soldiers digging the ditch were beyond comical.

WARNING: THIS FILM IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR INTELLECTUAL HEALTH! WATCH AT YOUR OWN PERIL!

Hilarious!! I would have sworn Ed Wood wrote this. Terrible. I loved every frame. Bad movie aficionado's, this is your trophy! I will watch it again. Words cannot explain how entertaining this movie is. Pare's career must have dipped low, but I really think he's heading in the Leslie Nielson direction. He was perfect for this. Terrible, just terrible!! You'll love it!! Get some friends, lots of beer, and you'll have the time of your life. It's an MST3000 party, waiting to happen. Enjoy!! It is worth the rental!! You like the "Colombo type" cop and the comic relief coroner. The bad guy will have you on the floor laughing. He's also in another Pare movie, Komodo vs Cobra, and he's just as good there. I don't know what the budget was but they'll get it back because this film is destined to be the best unintended comedy of the year.

B747 flight deck is on the 1st floor, going upstairs !! Yet, all characters (good / bad) walk through some "curtains" at the front of the First Class area (before the B747 nose with enclosed radar) and pass through abundant "open space" (including toilet cubicles !!) to reach the cockpit.

Several exterior views of the B747 (extended "hump" on upper section) and winglets) suggest a B747-400 series aircraft, and this B747 has only 2 flight crew (Captain and First Officer, NO Flight Engineer), as expected, but the spiral staircase inside the cabin, behind First Class, is found in B747-100 and B747-200 series aircraft (NO extended "humps"). B747-300 and B747-400 series aircraft wth extended "humps" have straight staircases rising to the opposite side of their respective cockpits.

If you look at the back of the box, you know exactly how everything in the story will go. You don't like any of the characters, nothing is surprising, the action is boring. The plot is just garbage. An air Force cargo plane pilot is acting and treated as an action commando and allowed to be a bodyguard for a billionaire's daughter with no combat experience and allowed to bring a gun onto a plane? Just a taste of the disappointing nonsense.

If you are familiar with the filmography of director Jim Wynorski (who here uses his oft-used pseudonym "Jay Andrews"), you probably know that this is one director who focuses on quantity rather than quality. And if you are familiar with the movies coming from Cinetel Films - "Crash Landing" being one of them - you know that they put out B movies cheaper and cheesier than those from other companies. To be fair, this movie isn't the worst to come from Wynorski or Cinetel. There's a minimum of stock footage used, though there's one bit showing a train that is shown mirror image, meaning the writing on the train is backwards! Some of the CGI special effects look shabby, but some look okay for what was a real cheap budget. The airplane interior looks decent, and the movie does move at a pretty brisk clip. But the action is sparse and dull, Sabato and Pare both give pretty one-note and boring performances, the female lead is annoying, and the various plot turns are pretty predictable. Still, it could have been a LOT worse.