Subzero

"Sub Zero" is very entertaining. It's a silly spin on "Cliffhanger". The plot is about six climbers who have to deactivate a bomb on a mountain. The bomb looks like a Rubik's cube. If it goes off it will destroy the world.

You don't watch a Jim Wynorski movie (the alias this time is Jay Andrews) and expect a masterpiece.

The acting is above-average for this type of film, the performances that stand out are Linden Ashby and Nia Peeples. The cast looks like they are having fun with the script. The special effects aren't the greatest, but who cares.

In the end: If you want to laugh and be on the edge of your seat, you can't go wrong with "Sub Zero".

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An unashamed Z-grade mountaineering flick, directed by a man (Jim Wynorski, hiding under a pseudonym) better known for making trashy T 'n' A movies and with a storyline that's more than happy to rip off VERTICAL LIMIT. If you like watching overly familiar, silly movies loaded with stock footage, awful plotting and some outrageously poor effects, you've come to the right place.

Things begin with a supposedly dramatic sequence set atop a sheer cliff. It soon turns out that this is a direct rip-off of CLIFFHANGER's famous opening scene. From here on in, we get a silly, half-baked storyline involving a futuristic satellite weapon that looks like nothing more than a cheap Rubik's cube. There are some outer space shots that look awfully familiar to the ones in UNDER SIEGE 2, and a squad of Russian terrorists whose tendency toward self-destruction makes them some of the dumbest ever shown on screen.

Eventually, the plot gets around to sending a bunch of would-be heroics up an impassable mountain in Tibet in a race against time (yawn). No surprises that there are some more dastardly betrayals, some dodgy Russians and a token black guy whose only purpose is to get bumped off ASAP. The high-rise heroics make use of plenty of sub-par CGI and characters don't bat an eyelid when long-time friends are decimated by stock-footage avalanches.

Of the cast, lead Costas Mandylor is the most familiar from his appearances in seemingly dozens of SAW sequels. He's supported by Linden Ashby (who was a one-time action hero in the likes of MORTAL KOMBAT, although his acting hasn't improved since then), and the pretty but vacuous Nia Peeples. Aside from some low-rent machine-gun action, there's not much going on here, leaving this a Z-movie to be endured rather than enjoyed. Still, there's far worse out there even if this is below average by genre standards, although that's not a recommendation.

Sure, look at the cast, look at who directed, know it's a straight to DVD release and figure the couple of bucks to rent it is a gallon of gas not in your tank. But go with the gas in your tank than the gas coming off the screen. This is just a variation on the 'Cliffhanger' story of an expert climber who loses a female climber to an accident, gives up climbing, then is coaxed back up by circumstance. In this case it is over some gimmicky Rubik's cube device that's sitting atop K2 in the Himalayas (as played by a Canadian mountain stand-in and played well). Mandylor and Peeples and a few others are hired by the President to get their butts up that mountain and retrieve that cube before the clock ticks down and it fires up satellites around the Earth to destroy the world (which is absurd since no satellites have the ability to fire laser beams that would destroy entire cities). Nia Peeples still looks good and does well as a feisty fellow climber. Nobody else makes an impression (unless you enjoy the humorously thick Natasha accent of one of the Russian climbers). There is some decent avalanche footage and other location shooting that gives the film some authenticity (none of that horrible process screen or computerized imagery). And the big finish had some good elements but it was all but killed by the stumbling direction and suspenseless score. Too bad. But I looked at the cast, and I looked at the director, knew it was a straight to DVD release, and I spent my money... so what was I thinking?

I direct you to the plethora of reviews that point out the hilarity of the script, plot lines, acting, and stunts, the absolute impossibility of the political implications, horrible technicals in climbing (gear clothing, physical fitness, NO Sherpas, the EMP, ad infinitum) ALL add up to a totally ridiculous jaunt up a mountain chasing a glow in the dark Rubik's cube upon which the fate of the world rests.

All that being said NUMEROUS times, there is some magnificent footage of the mountains, avalanches, breathtaking, sweeping vistas that will either excite you, kick your death wish sporting sense into overdrive, make you wonder how on God's 3rd rock from the sun ANYONE considers mountaineering FUN BUT will across the board make you feel small and leave you awe struck.

If you go into this with a coupla joints, a bucket of salty buttery popcorn, a Big Gulp and absolutely nothing else to do on a cold rainy day you will not feel like you've been robbed of 90 minutes of your life -- It is what it is - a piece of straight to DVD B grade fluff made to entertain, not educate you on WMDs, mountain climbing, global political relations, or American clichés (and there are 85 minutes of clichés) - if you are looking for American Oscar worthy films, BAFTA contenders or even Golden Globe potential -- MOVE ON. if you like a train wreck of a film that will, if nothing else, entertain you - it's worth a watch... and ladies, you gotta admit the guys are HOT.....

This film is a waste of digital imagery! Imagine, the hero ventures up K2 in a K-Mart parka with a fur edged hood no less. In one scene one "climber" (I say that oh so tongue in cheek) belays another by just standing there (he is tied onto the rope though)while his buddy holds a hundred feet or so of loosely coiled rope in his hands between the "belay" and the prospective climber.

Oh man, this flick is sooooo bad, I almost wept. Oh, the aforementioned climber falls down a crevasse, is hanging there wearing his crampons, then is hauled out without them. I mean, these things are strapped to your ankles so you can't loose them. The ice axe technique and cramponning (no front pointing at all) is pathetic, and crawling up, no, along snow slopes reminded me of a drunk in the gutter finding his way home. Speaking of axe technique, when a guy fell down a slope, instead of using the appropriate technique of rolling over and gently applying the point as a brake by applying ones weight, he lies on his back flailing helplessly at the snow. If that axe had gripped, it would have ripped his arm off.

All those really great mountaineers now sadly perished, will be rolling over in their graves (if lucky enough to have one).

'Nuff said, this film should be burnt! It's a disgrace!