Tara Strong credited as playing...
Toot Braunstein • Princess Clara • Woman • Xandir's Mom • Amazing Race Riot Woman • Ariel • Asian Woman • Audience Member • Bambi • Battle Monster • Captain Hero's Mother • Carol Anne Freeling • Charlie Brown • Charlotte • Chickens • Child Services • Daria • Deer #1 • Dispatch Voice • EW Critic • Female Teen • Female Transformer • Gwyneth Paltrow • Handicapped Boy • Hoochie • Island Native • Lady • Linus Van Pelt • Little Boy • Little Orphan Annie • Loch Ness Boy • Mall Walkers • Mentally Challenged Boy • Mini Trooper • Mom • Mother • Mrs. Huffington • Nicaraguan Baby • Paper Baby • Snow White • Spanky's Girlfriend • Sperm Bank Clerk • Taking Jesus • Truck Driver's Mother • Unborn Baby Whale • Unusually Flexible Girl • Wienermobile Customer • Wilma Flintstone • Woman in Courtroom • Young Boy • Zoo Lady
- [Spanky and Clara are neck-deep in a ball pit discussing her bigoted views]
- Princess Clara: I don't see why I should apologize. I mean, where I come from all my servants are Black... or Presbyterian.
- Spanky Ham: Yea, but honey, where you come from animated objects spring to life and spout silly catchphrases.
- Blue Ball: [springs to life] Whachu talkin' 'bout, pig?
- Princess Clara: No, he's right, Blue Ball. Maybe I should just apologize.
- Blue Ball: Usually, Clara looks to us for advice, but this time it came from Spanky. It's a good thing too, because I was going tell her to shoot the President.
- Toot Braunstein: [trying to get Xandir's attention with her head in a guillotine] I swear to God I'll cut my fucking head off!
- [Xandir ignores her, Toot slices off her head and flashes him while Spanky takes a dump in her skull]
- Xandir: Why is it whenever something isn't working, your first impulse is to eat it?
- Xandir: [Flashback of Toot eating the TV] TOOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- Toot Braunstein: I couldn't find the remote.
- Toot Braunstein: [drunk] I thought you loved me, Captain Morgan!
- [smashes bottle of booze against the wall]
- Toot Braunstein: Oh no, you're bleeding! I'll save you, Cap'n Morgan!
- [licks booze off wall]
- Princess Clara: What is this thing in my mouth? / It's slippery and it's slimy / Travelling down my slender virgin pink esophagus. / Some Black chick's tongue. / It's such a new sensation.
- Foxxy Love: I got a mayonnaise mama on my lickin' hole / And we've only just begun...
- Princess Clara: It's really quite thrilling...
- Foxxy Love: It's right. Now you know...
- Princess Clara: I can taste a filling...
- Foxxy Love: And it's solid gold...
- Princess Clara: I never dreamed I would be so willing / To let myself go.
- Foxxy Love: Tell me about it! / I'm totally frenching a racist ho!
- Princess Clara, Foxxy Love: This Black chick's tongue.
- Princess Clara: What a wonderful feeling.
- Foxxy Love: Damn, where'd this bitch get her earrings?
- Princess Clara: I've never had so much fun.
- Princess Clara, Foxxy Love: As with this Black chick's tongue.
- Captain Hero: How cool is this? / We've only been here a day / And I already find myself in a 3-way!
- Toot Braunstein: [after hearing of Spanky's game of crapping on pizza] You want to do *what* to pizza? The most tasty and delicious of all that is tasty and delicious? So you can sh*t on it? I should kill you where you stand!
- [punches a hole through the wall]
- Toot Braunstein: So, Clara, how was your day?
- Princess Clara: It was magical!
- Toot Braunstein: I guess it would have been if you were violated by a magician.
- Princess Clara: [Spanky, Clara, and Foxxy are waiting for a pizza so they can play a prank on the deliverer] I had never been more nervous. The pizza would be here in 30 minutes or less, and with Foxxy's hands tied up in her hair, she was as useless as a Mexican!
- Xandir: [holding Ling-Ling] Hey, Ling-Ling, are you excited for Christmas?
- [Ling-Ling perks up and nods]
- Xandir: Too bad there's no such thing as Santa Claus! I bet you're disappointed.
- [Xandir licks a sad Ling-Ling's secretion off and passes it to Toot]
- Toot Braunstein: Ling-Ling, what's this in your ear? Is it a quarter?
- [Ling-Ling perks up]
- Toot Braunstein: No, it's a tumor!
- [licks a sad Ling-Ling's secretion off and passes it to a sickly-looking Wooldor]
- Wooldoor Sockbat: Hey, Ling-Ling, you, uh... excited for Christmas?
- [Ling-Ling perks up]
- Wooldoor Sockbat: Oh, no, it's a tumor!
- [licks a sad Ling-Ling's secretion off]
- Princess Clara: [about her octopussoir] Oh, please, please don't tell anybody. I'm afraid that I must ask you guys to keep my secret with a pinky swear!
- Foxxy Love: I pinky swear.
- Toot Braunstein: [They look at Toot] FINE! I pinky swear.
- [Clara's octopussoir also pinky swears]
- Captain Hero: [knocks on door] Clara, Toot told us that you have a monster for a vagina and we want to have a meeting about it.
- Princess Clara: How is that even possible?
- [Foxxy and Clara stare at Toot]
- Toot Braunstein: Oopsey-Tootsey! I couldn't help myself.
- Princess Clara: You're probably wondering about my octopussior... It's French.
- [in the confessional]
- Princess Clara: I've never shared my story with anyone before. It's all so... so personal. I told the girls that the only way I could get it out was through interpretive dance.
- [she then dances interpretively]
- Foxxy Love: Really? When you was but a child, your stepfather cast a curse on yo' vagina?
- Princess Clara: What? Weren't you paying attention?
- [demonstrates a move]
- Princess Clara: My evil step *mother*! *Mother* placed the curse on me!
- Toot Braunstein: Uh-duuuuuh!
- Princess Clara: Have you noticed we didn't get any screen time this week?
- Toot Braunstein: Well, uh, duh! That's because we've been in the basement all week making this awesome potato gun!
- Princess Clara: [in the confessional] The Producers told us that we must start a business of our choosing. I wanted to have a bake sale but the stereotypes had other ideas.
- Xandir: Let's open a hair salon!
- Foxxy Love: OOOH, we could shine shoes!
- Ling-Ling: I say full-release massage parlour that serves wok-fried puppies!
- Toot Braunstein: LET'S EAT POTATO SALAD!