Eva Mendes credited as playing...
Sara
- Sara: Why don't you go hit a titty bar with your buddy Vance?
- Hitch: Wow. I don't believe this. That's your source?
- Sara: You buried yourself, Alex.
- Hitch: Then you weren't listening.
- Sara: I heard every word. You're a scam artist. You trick women into getting...
- Hitch: Into getting out of their own way, so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance!
- [host gestures for him to leave]
- Hitch: Okay, no, no, no, no. I want everybody to take a good look at this right now. Because this, this right here, this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard!
- Speed Dating Guy: Sir, let's go, now.
- Hitch: And Vance Munson is a pig! And I refused to work with him. You need to get your facts right. It's because of jerks like him that I even have a job... *had* a job!
- [walks away]
- Sara: Can you believe that guy?
- Casey Sedgewick: Actually... I do.
- Sara: [dejectedly] Me, too.
- Hitch: Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. But, on the other hand, should that be your problem?
- Sara: So life's kind of hard all around.
- Hitch: Not if you pay attention. I mean, you're sending all the right signals - no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini, which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. And if that wasn't clear enough, there's always the "fuck off" sign that you have stamped on your forehead.
- Chip: I noticed your glass was getting a little low so I took the liberty of bringing you another apple martini.
- Sara: [bemused] Thank you.
- Chip: And I couldn't help but notice... you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
- Sara: What's your name?
- Chip: They call me Chip.
- Sara: Aww, you can't get them to stop?
- Chip: [laughs] That was funny.
- Sara: Listen, Chip, I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room and try to generate a relationship out of thin air, so don't take the following personally...
- Chip: You have fantastic eyes.
- Sara: [chuckles] Thanks, try to listen. I... uh, this is no reflection on you, I'm just not interested. But thank you for the compliment of coming over.
- Chip: You're welcome. So, do you like Cuban food?
- Sara: Chip, seriously, that wasn't code for "I wish you'd try harder".
- Chip: Are you always so shut down and afraid? That the right man might make you feel...
- Hitch: [puts a hand on Chip's shoulder] ... Feel like a natural woman?
- [laughs]
- Hitch: Sorry, I'm late, honey, I couldn't get a cab. How was the meeting?
- Sara: Ooh. Well, there was a beginning, a middle... and an end. Nice to meet you, Chip.
- Chip: [stands up to walk away] You, too.
- Sara: [on the phone talking to Geoff] Did I call it or did I call it? I mean, what did I say, six months? And when was her first date? So five-and-a-half? God, I hate it when I'm right. I mean, what is it about guys that makes them want to screw anything that walks, even when they're going out with someone as awesome as Allegra Cole? I mean, she's only the single most fabulous thing walking around New York.
- [takes a paper from the newsstand]
- Sara: Thanks, Young.
- [back to phone]
- Sara: Are you kidding? Of course I'm going to run it! Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat, even if he is gorgeous? Hey, if he's stupid enough to cheat, then the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught.
- Vance: Okay, okay. How much will it cost me to stay out of this?
- Sara: I don't want money. I want a name.
- Vance: I don't know his name.
- Sara: Well what do you know?
- Vance: I know this.
- [hands her Hitch's business card]
- Vance: All this for a lousy lay. Are we satisfied?
- Sara: Almost.
- [knees Vance in the crotch]
- Sara: So how'd you meet him?
- Casey Sedgewick: I was in La Perla just buying some weekend thongs.
- Sara: And he was doing likewise?
- Casey Sedgewick: No. Actually he said he was buying something for his mom.
- Sara: His mom? Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie for their mother?
- Casey Sedgewick: Well, maybe he was looking for a robe.
- Sara: Oh Casey. Casey, he was hitting on you while he was buying lingerie for another woman.
- Casey Sedgewick: Well, I prefer the mother story.
- Sara: I know you prefer it, but that's not the point.
- Casey Sedgewick: No, the point is I'm not gonna start out assuming the guy's a liar.
- Sara: Why not?
- Casey Sedgewick: Because, that's how you wind up...
- [pause]
- Sara: Like *me?* Is that what you were gonna say?
- Casey Sedgewick: No, I was going to say 'like you.'