Hank Azaria credited as playing...
Moe Szyslak • Chief Wiggum • Apu • Comic Book Guy • Cletus • Prof. Frink • Others
- Moe Szyslak: Sorry, Bart. I can't sell booze to a minor, it ain't right.
- Bart Simpson: I'm here to buy fireworks.
- Moe Szyslak: Oh, hell yeah!
- Lisa Simpson: See? You are a good cop!
- Chief Wiggum: Ah, you're just saying that.
- Lisa Simpson: Yes, I am.
- Comic Book Guy: I have no time to converse with you, I must be first to register my disgust on the internet regarding the new McBain film. The action was dismal and the nudity was frustratingly fleeting. I barely got going.
- Bart Simpson: Quick, to the Fatmobile!
- [laughs]
- Comic Book Guy: Yes, I suppose. But must we call it that?
- Comic Book Guy: If my knowledge of sci-fi movies is correct, which it is, the black car is an advanced probe for the mothership. Now, if you're through, I'm going to spend my last hours on Earth complaining about movies on the internet.
- Homer Simpson: The gift of life is wasted on you.
- Comic Book Guy: Yes, I recommend you obtain a zombie car. It will protect you well but it runs on human brains, a slight drawback.
- Homer Simpson: I've got plenty of those.
- Comic Book Guy: Ah, videogames, what a waste of money. Now to go online and bid one thousand dollars for a set of Itchy and Scratchy corn-cob holders. Terrific, terrific expense.
- Lisa Simpson: Mission accomplished, but Bart's still missing and I'm still no closer to finding him.
- Apu: Perhaps you should talk to Professor Frink. He seems to know everything... except why I ever came to this jerkwater burg.
- Comic Book Guy: I will roll to determine your chances of getting a ride.
- [pause]
- Comic Book Guy: I will be there in five turns.
- Snake Jailbird: [When someone tries to get in on his side] Passenger seat and trunk are your only options.
- Chief Wiggum: Now, first of all, if you're gonna go undercover, you are gonna need a disguise.
- Lisa Simpson: You mean like an eye patch?
- Chief Wiggum: Hey, good one! If we could afford a disguise like that, I wouldn't be payed in potato chip coupons.