House of 9

Whoever this Will Hoge guy is, he needs to go back to delivering pizzas. This is a mashup of STP, Creed and all those other horrible styles. I had to skip about 7 minutes in the middle of the movie because my ears started bleeding.

There is a certain concept that I love seeing within movies, when a group of people wake up in unfamiliar territory and have to participate in some dangerous activity such as a game.

Obviously the SAW franchise comes under this category, the Cube movies and the brilliant Circle (2015) and The Human Race (2013).

This is one of those and I was immediatly thrilled upon realising. I just love the idea I find it fascinating, how people react, the different personalities and the ruthlessness of people.

House of 9 see's a group of people locked inside a house together unable to escape. Upon awaking the instructions are announced, only one can leave and they'll win five million pounds.

Inevitably it doesn't take long before things to fall apart and the way it happens sadly could be better, but is still entertaining.

This British made thriller stars Kelly Brook, Dennis Hopper and the last Doctor Who Peter Capaldi.

Despite it's flaws I enjoyed this and was very impressed with the movies closing scene. Though it doesn't match the dizzying heights of the other examples of this concept it's still a passable movie.

The Good:

Great idea

Fantastic finale

The Bad:

Questionable execution

Hoppers accent is horrific

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Guns in movies are magic and have unlimited ammo

Kelly Brook can act without showing boobage

This film is embarrassingly bad. The acting is way over the top and the writing is very lazy. There are times when it is so unbelievably dumb. I hated all of the characters and didn't care at all if they died. I will try my best to forget that I ever saw this, which will not be hard.

**SPOILERS** As if abducted off the streets of London by aliens in a UFO nine persons complete strangers to each other with the exception of the music composing couple Francis & Cynthia, Hippolyte Girandot & Julienne Davis, end up in this large house with all the door and windows sealed shut.

Getting the lowdown to the situation that their in by the unseen Watcher, Tim Carter, the nine kidnap victims are told that they'll all have to stay locked up there for the next 24 hours until the only survivor will be allowed to leave. The nine are also told by The Watcher that the winner, or survivor, will end up getting a duffel bag stuffed with 5 million dollars in it for his or her effort!

The film then has the befuddled and confused persons try to survive the night only to have greed and hunger take over and control their actions and emotions. One by one the nine end up murdering each other, the first victim was the result of an unfortunate accident, until by the next morning only one survived. It's then that the sole survivor as well as the audience is hit with this twist ending. It's brought out by THe Watcher that the agony that he, or she, wen't through was only the beginning of something that a lot bigger and far more evil that what happened to him and the people, who are now all dead, that were there in the house.

Dennis Hopper plays Father Duffy a man with a conscience who tries to keep everything and everyone from getting out of control only in the end lose control of himself. The musical couple Francis & Cynthia get involved with black rap artist Al B, Ashley Waters, who gets a little too friendly with Cynthia that ends up having devastating results for all three of them.

Fashion designer Max Roy, Peter Capaldi, loses it late in the movie and goes bonkers breaking what little sanity that was still left among the survivors. Max freaks out in his attempt to have everyone there killed so that he can end up having and stuffing himself with all the food, not the 5 million dollars, thats been provided, by The Watcher, for them.

The cop of the group Jay, Raffeallo Degruttola, at first tries to keep order but gets so enraged at Al B who's dislike of police, as well as Jay, is so fanatical and out in the open that the two go after each other like two rats in a cage who haven't been fed for days.

There's also tennis star Claire Leevy, Susie Amy, and her forced roommate, at the house, parolee from prison Shona, Morven Christie. These two are so opposite to each other that putting them both together, that Father Duffy did, was like flicking open a cigarette lighter in a kitchen with an hour long gas leak; the results would be and in fact did become explosive.

The last of the group of nine the beautiful and well endowed Lea, Kelly Brook, who's a dancer and refrains from eating meat is by far the most likable and attractive of the bunch. That's why for some reason it puzzled me why Francis had it in for her during the entire film. When his attempt to electrocute Lea failed, after he at first thought that it succeeded, Francis became by far the most crazed of the already crazed bunch.

It wasn't until the last minute that you not only realized who survive this carnage but what the reason for it really was. By the time the movie ended it was shown to the sole surviver that greed and the violence and murder that goes along with it only leads to more greed and that greed will only be quenched when there's no one left alive to be influenced by it.

9 people in a sealed house. They are told only one of them would leave and he will be given 5 million dollars and then they are left to their own devices. You would expect some subtle psychological drama, but no. All the characters are archetypes, they behave programatically like little robots and after a while they only hurry up the pace since the movie's got to end at one point or another.

They do spend about 10 minutes to break out of the house, I give you that. Why they would chose to pathetically wait for the end the rest of the movie is beyond me. At least half of the movie consists of women shouting incoherently and men fighting for idiotic reasons.

However it is a better than a lot of other movies and it is worth a see, especially if you are a kid or you have tried to watch Das Experiment and stopped in the middle because you couldn't take it. Horror it is not, yet the end is funny and saves a lot of the movie.

I kinda liked Dennis Hopper. Why does he play in movies like that lately? Ntz Ntz Ntz