Burt Reynolds credited as playing...
Coach Nate Scarborough
- Joey Battle: Wow no bullshit! Real football, against the guards?
- Coach Nate Scarborough: Full contact.
- Joey Battle: Captain Knauer is the quarterback?
- Caretaker: Yep.
- Joey Battle: So I get to tackle him?
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Yeah, you can either tackle him or you can hit him over the head with that *hammer*.
- Joey Battle: [looks down at his crotch] I wanna hurt him, not kill him.
- Caretaker: Lets get outta here before that thing bites someone!
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Alright we'll see you and your pet iguana at practice.
- Guard Dunham: [after breaking off a long run, storms up to Megget] That's how a white man runs the football!
- Earl Megget: Man, you lucky I ain't on defense. I'd crack you in that egg-ass head of yours!
- Guard Dunham: Yeah, but you ain't on defense. Are ya, bitch?
- Earl Megget: Switowski! Come here!
- [he comes running over]
- Earl Megget: You know what he said in the library?
- [whispers to Switowski about Dunham calling Malcolm X then "N word", as Switowski's eyes about pop out of his head]
- Earl Megget: Yes. Him. Out!
- Switowski: [Destroys Dunham with a huge hit on the next play. Everyone gathers around to look at Dunham and sniffs] I think I made-ed him shit himself.
- Coach Nate Scarborough: I think he just shit himself.
- All Sportswriters: I think he just shit himself.
- Stretcher Guy: Good lord, this guy shit himself big time!
- Switowski: [jumps up and down celebrating] See! I told you i made-ed him shit himself!
- Earl Megget: [as Dunmham is being carted off the field on a stretcher] I'll be sure to send them books to the hospital, pimp!
- Deacon Moss: And some diapers!
- Joey Battle: Wow, no bullshit! Football, against the guards?
- Coach Nate Scarborough: Yep, full contact.
- Joey Battle: Captain Knauer is the quarterback?
- Caretaker: Yep.
- Joey Battle: So I get to tackle him?
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Yeah, either that you can hit him over the head with that hammer.
- Joey Battle: I wanna hurt him, not kill him.
- Caretaker: Lets get outta here before that thing bites someone!
- Guard Lambert: Crewe! I'll see you on the field.
- [bangs his head on a locker]
- Coach Nate Scarborough: [to Crewe] I think he's in love with you.