Nicholas Turturro credited as playing...
Brucie
- Brucie: How come I cant be kicker? I was all state!
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: All right let's see what you got.
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: [kicks ball along the ground] ... that's why you dumbass.
- Brucie: [Brucie is about to kick off] Jesus Christ my saviour,if you help me out with this one I promise to stop cheating on my wife with black guys, Amen.
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: I will be your coach, your captain, your quarterback...
- Brucie: You haven't played in years! Why can't I be quarterback?
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: You're right; let's see what you got.
- [throws ball to Brucie]
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Hit me; I'm open!
- Brucie: [throws wild pass]
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: That's why, now sit down and shut up.
- Ms. Tucker: Paul... Paul I wanted to let you know that I am your biggest fan and that I'll will be cheering my jailhouse boobies off for you on gameday!
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Ok I appreciate that.
- Ms. Tucker: Paul I appreciate you.
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Ok.
- Brucie: All right are you done now?
- Ms. Tucker: What are you just jealous because I don't cheer for you anymore?
- Brucie: Yea I don't know what you're talking about.
- Ms. Tucker: Whatever back freckle!
- Con Transvestite: What's wrong with you? Jealous because I don't cheer for you anymore?
- Brucie: I don't know what you're talking about, Freak show!
- Con Transvestite: Whatever, back freckles!