Michael Irvin credited as playing...
Deacon Moss
- [last lines]
- Deacon Moss: [Deacon and Battle pour Gatorade on Warden Hazen] Good game, sir!
- Warden Hazen: That's a week in the hotbox!
- Joey Battle: Who gives a shit!
- Guard Dunham: [after breaking off a long run, storms up to Megget] That's how a white man runs the football!
- Earl Megget: Man, you lucky I ain't on defense. I'd crack you in that egg-ass head of yours!
- Guard Dunham: Yeah, but you ain't on defense. Are ya, bitch?
- Earl Megget: Switowski! Come here!
- [he comes running over]
- Earl Megget: You know what he said in the library?
- [whispers to Switowski about Dunham calling Malcolm X then "N word", as Switowski's eyes about pop out of his head]
- Earl Megget: Yes. Him. Out!
- Switowski: [Destroys Dunham with a huge hit on the next play. Everyone gathers around to look at Dunham and sniffs] I think I made-ed him shit himself.
- Coach Nate Scarborough: I think he just shit himself.
- All Sportswriters: I think he just shit himself.
- Stretcher Guy: Good lord, this guy shit himself big time!
- Switowski: [jumps up and down celebrating] See! I told you i made-ed him shit himself!
- Earl Megget: [as Dunmham is being carted off the field on a stretcher] I'll be sure to send them books to the hospital, pimp!
- Deacon Moss: And some diapers!
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: [On the last play of the first half] Do you assholes remember that play we practiced in the mud?
- Deacon Moss: What are you talking about? That was some schoolyard bullshit!
- Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Yeah, let's try some schoolyard bullshit!
- Deacon Moss: The only game I'll play with you... is slap the point shaving white boy, til he cries like a baby back bitch.
- Cheeseburger Eddy: baby back bitch, baby back bitch, baby back bitch, baby back bitch.
- Caretaker: That's a big ass robot