Starting Over

I am a stay at home mom who has herself overcome a terribly painful past, with the help of Starting Over. Y'all have seen the opener...."this house changed my life"....it is true for me, and I never even walked thru the doors, although i would crawl on my tongue for the opportunity for that kind of healing!! Things those "Know it all" coaches have said come up in MY everyday life, and people have noticed a change in how I react to things around me, because of those awarenesses. It all comes down to how OPEN YOU ARE!!!! I feel those of you who are angry at the life coaches, have a reason to be, as they bring up those emotions, (whatever they may be) in you so they may be properly dealt with, and you aren't even aware of it. That is the job of a life coach, to dredge up the ugliness we refuse to deal with daily!

BIG HUGS to Iyanla, and Rhonda, and Dr. Stan too!!

Peace Y'all!

Of course, the show is not perfect....it's a "reality" show about women and the problems that their needs lead them into. The life coaches are indeed not "know it all's", but have faced many of the same issues that "everyday" women face and have a better perspective, a clearer path to resolution. The knowledge and understanding of the life coaches naturally entice us to look to them when we need the focus that they have already demonstrated in real life. Hence, the reason that they are referred to as "life coaches."

Women and men are certainly equal in all capacities, but the path that we follow and the "tools" that we use to get there are not the same and cannot be treated as such. It is a fundamental part of the entire "Starting Over" process to help "women" to recognize the tools at their disposal, as well as to teach them those that they are missing by using the similarities in other women to build from.

This show is not about entertainment, but rather restoration and regeneration. It is merely a vehicle to reach those who want and need the message.

I agree that Iyanla can be a bit opinionated, but that other one --Rhonda--

Could she possibly be more self-righteous? Meanwhile, she never really listens to what anyone is saying. Did she take a Learning Annex class in "5 Steps to Being a Good Listener"? Maybe it was a prerequisite course to "You Too Can Be an Analyst" She asks clearly scripted questions, nods with a furrowed brow during the girls responses and follows it with a "ya" and a quote directly off one of those motivational posters.

Example: In the last episode ... Rhonda starts using all the clichés and textbook inspirational quotes to this one woman who was really going through it badly. She takes her through this ridiculous word association thing to arrive at the conclusion that her father is the cause of all her woes (which had already been established anyway, by the woman herself). Rhonda gives an understanding "Ya" and sits all self-satisfied that she broke her. Then Iyanla proceeds to rip the girl apart, saying that she is lying and covering up the real issue and makes her come to terms with the fact that her mother is really at the root of it all but she never could face or admit to herself. After 10 minutes of Iyanla tearing down layer after layer, lie after lie, the girl is obviously a wreck and then Rhonda chimes in with this pearl: "Its OK for your mother to not always be right" smiling smugly as though she knew the mother was the real issue all along. Iyanla looked like 'is she kidding with this'???

Rhonda seems to feel that she and Iyanla simply have different styles of therapy --- yea qualified and not qualified is the difference. She looks like a soap actress wannabe who never quite got her break but decided to put this show together and trying to act like a therapist. A bad one.

I have to admit that I am addicted to this show. Having said that, I would like to send my opinion out there. It seems to me that the life coaches are, as others have written, "know it all's". They are not very specific at times, leaving the anxious ladies (probably too intimidated to ask if they can get help from the other women, quit, etc...) receiving negative feedback from the coaches. I think there is a bit of evil in Rhonda's eyes now and then.......she would scare me to death if I got on her bad side. Just once, I would like to hear an "I apologize, I was mistaken" from the coaches! I realize we all have had problems in our past, as did Rhonda and Iylana, however, they sometimes appear to have forgotten their past. When someone is "down and out" (as with the women who come and go through the house), they certainly don't need to be screamed at and humiliated. However, the change for the positive is remarkable in most of the women when they leave the starting over house!!!

A true reality show - real women working on re-inventing themselves and their lives.

The premise is simple - a house full of six women, living together but each with their own goals. They live together and support one another, along with 2 "life coaches" who visit them daily giving them exercises to do, challenges to face, and so on.

Just the process of living in a household of women gives them lots of opportunity for growth. Many of these women have never lived with roommates, in a communal environment. Sacrifices must be made, cooperation is key, and clashing personalities must make amends.

The goals of the women vary widely. Learning to drive, starting a new career, learning to separate from family members, starting over after divorce and so much more. All, of course, women's issues -- and definitely issues which we can relate.

The life coaches, Rhonda and Rana, dream up very visual exercises to illustrate key problems in the women's lives. The coaches support, confront and challenge the women daily. Each day is a new adventure with new experiences and assignments.

Each woman in the house learns (or doesn't learn!) at her own pace, but usually spends 2-4 months in the house. They can leave the house by their own choice, by graduating, or by being asked to leave the house. One of the best things about this show is that the women aren't treated like children. They are asked to actively work towards their goals, or they will be asked to leave the house.

Seeing the women supporting one another, even if they are very different (cultures, viewpoints, political stance, economics, etc) is truly beautiful.

This show is for any woman who would like to re-invent herself and wants to see women just like herself do it!