George Carlin credited as playing...
- Ollie: Come on, Dad. Don't you wanna live alone again?
- Bart: Not as much as I don't wanna die alone.
- Bart: If Gertie could see the shit you've been pulling.
- Ollie: Gertie can't see anything, Dad. She's dead.
- Bart: That's right, she is. But you ain't. And neither is that kid.
- Bart: Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.
- Greenie: You gettin' a dog?
- Ollie: [having been invited to the bar with Gertrude and Bart] No, that's OK, I'll stay here and do the dishes. I only cooked, why shouldn't I clean?
- Bart: Suit yourself. Don't wash that pan, I got a nice layer of juice built up for the pork roll, and I don't want you scrubbing it off.
- Ollie: That 'juice' is called grease, Dad. It's bad for you. It clogs your arteries.
- Bart: It's called 'juice'. And it greases your father's insides so he can better swallow the shit his son feeds him twice a year, when he can be bothered to come to visit him.
- Bart: Try acting like a father, shit-head.
- Bart: You know, you really had me scared for a moment there.
- Ollie: Awww, who knew. All these years you were nursing a little stage fright!
- Bart: Not that, smart-ass.
- Ollie: Pop, I'm home.
- Bart: Yeah, like I give a shit.
- Ollie: You know, thanks a lot, Pop.
