Jackie Chan: Chon Wang

Shanghai Knights

Chon Wang

Roy: So what did your dad do? Was he an imperial guard?
Chon Wang: No, much more important. He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
Roy: That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool!

Chon Wang: The English are not very friendly.
Roy: They're just sore losers.
Chon Wang: What did they lose?
Roy: A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon.
Chon Wang: Never heard of it.
Roy: I'll give you the highlights. They came over with about a million men. We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks and beat 'em like a drum.

Roy: Chon, I have a confession to make.
Chon Wang: You are in love with my sister?
Roy: Well, that, but I didn't lose all the money on the zeppelins.
Chon Wang: No?
Roy: Nah. I blew most of it on the Roy O'Bannon novels. I wrote them.
Chon Wang: No, Sage McCallister wrote them.
Roy: That's what I'm saying, buddy. I'm Sage McCallister.
Chon Wang: You wrote those lies?
Roy: I've always had low self-esteem.
Chon Wang: How many books did you print?
Roy: I self-published probably a million copies. We were actually second to the Bible that year.

Fagin #1: Come here, you little rubbish eater! What did I tell you about poncing on our turf, Charlie?
Charlie Chaplin: I'm on the straight and narrow, honest!
Fagin #1: [frisks Charlie and finds Roy's watch] What's this, then?
[Charlie rolls his eyes]
Fagin #1: After I'm through beating you, you're gonna wish you *never* ran away from the workhouse!
Chon Wang: Leave the boy alone!
Fagin #2: Bloody tourists. Get your noses out of it!
Roy O'Bannon: Guys, do whatever you want to the kid, but that's my watch you're holding.
Fagin #1: Well, there's a *load* of us and only two of you, so piss off!
Roy O'Bannon: Easy, fellas. You've lost *one* war this way. Don't make the same mistake twice.

Roy: There's this new thing they're starting out in California: moving pictures. There's no sound, so we won't have to worry about the language problem, and I think the kung fu stuff could be huge! People are dying for a good action flick.
Chon Wang: Chon Wang...
[sounds like "John Wayne"]
Chon Wang: ...movie star? It could work.

Roy: [Seeing the Imperial Seal] That diamond is as big as a damn monkey's paw.
Chon Wang: Roy, don't even think about it.
Roy: Just admiring the craftsmanship, Chon.

[Wang is trying to save Roy who is tied up under water. All we can hear are their garbled voices. Subtitles appear on screen]
Roy: Where have you been?
Chon Wang: I was busy.
Roy: Unbelievable!
Chon Wang: Patience, Roy.
Roy: Tell that to the eel swimming up my ass!

Chon Wang: We are wasting time.
Roy: What do you think I've been doing? Sittin' here and drinking expensive hooch?
[to Charlie]
Roy: Boy, refill.

[Handing Doyle Roy's watch]
Chon Wang: What else can you tell?
Doyle: The owner of this watch is a bad gambler and a lousy shot. Although he's cheated death several times, he spends most of his life wandering in a rather pathetic and futile search for purpose and respect... oh, yes. He has a penchant for loose women.