Corpses Are Forever

Here's your "zombie" secret-agent "thriller" in a nutshell: There are twelve zombies that never come close to hurting a soul, no plot, bad acting and a script so bad it poses the question: If 1,000 monkeys with 1,000 typewriters were put into a room for 1,000 years, would they be able to write something better? No and yes. No, they wouldn't write anything, but Yes, the flinging of monkey dung would be better than this dog of a film. If you are an indy filmmaker, why would you work so hard and gather some B- and C-list celebs into a movie only to make a confused, worthless half-ass piece of crap? Yes, I will crap on someone's dream because I love movies. I love movies so much that it hurts me when someone makes the effort to produce something so thoroughly weak.

And here's a question: If you're a CIA agent (that looks like a nineteen year-old kid with drawn-on tattoos) in the midst of a zombie invasion, why are you driving around in a convertible Caddy? Next time, the filmmakers should have ONE story and not only a real actor, but a REAL DIRECTOR. Find someone who knows how to write, and another guy who can operate an editing device. And a non-deaf person to be your sound guy...

I've got to go set this DVD on fire.

There are only two things that save Corpses are Forever from being worse than it is. One is the reasonably well-shot and creepy prologue, the other is Richard Lynch, who sinks his teeth into his role and seems to be enjoying himself thoroughly. Which is more than can be said for the rest of the cast who either look embarrassed, are wasted or have no acting talent. Debbie Rochon is not bad but she is pretty wasted actually in that she is given next to nothing to work with. Linnea Quigley does not convince as a zombie and looks like she doesn't want to be there, and Brinkie Stevens is another actress who has very little to do. The worst of the lot though is definitely Jose Prendes in a performance so charisma-less and forced, often he makes the zombies seem more animated. And they were certainly nothing to write home about, in fact they were not scary in the slightest, all they did was lumber around as if stoned. They were also very poorly made-up- fancy-dress party zombie make-up has been much more convincing- and they even managed to feel irrelevant to the story. Prendes also writes and directs and in all honesty of all the writing/starring in/directing-by-one-person jobs from any movie Prendes for Corpses are Forever has to be down there as one of the all-time worst. The direction is completely amateurish, with all-over-the-place editing and his support and direction for the actors seemed non-existent too, you can tell by how the minor roles/extras were just wandering around looking as though they didn't have a clue what to do. His script-writing is stilted, doesn't develop the characters at all and adds ones that are completely extraneous, has a very improvised feel and has no structure and humour and banter that verge on juvenile. The awkward line-delivery doesn't help nor does the sound, sometimes you can't even hear what was being said. The storytelling is so thin on the ground that there is often very little of it at all, it is filled with plodding exposition that seemed to be solely there to pad out the running time, is very tediously paced(not in a while have I been this bored by a movie)and is often incoherent(perhaps due to that there was a lot of stringing-of-rip-offs going on). There is no fun, tension or thrills, you can go as far to say no atmosphere, and then there are action sequences that are haphazardly shot and to say that they are choreographed unimaginatively is being too kind. And the ending is too ridiculous that it is not worth commenting on, plus the most inventive Corpses are Forever ever gets are the title and taglines that are very cheesy themselves. In conclusion, not the worst The Asylum has done or the worst movie ever but it is a terrible and interminably dull one on all but one or two levels. 2/10, though it was a very tough decision as to whether to give it a 1 or a 2. Bethany Cox

Corpses might be forever, but my attention span wasn't. Another horrible movie distributed by the asylum, please stay away from the asylum.....unless you want to waste your money?

OK here's the story line, guy with amnesia wakes up in future where zombie are running rampage (why who knows?), zombie chase him, he runs, then he starts fighting them with kungfu (which looks like little kids in the backyard play fighting, not one punch or kick even come close to target) he then meets some people, who know him (how unusual..) then this process is repeated through the movie multiple times till it ends....

Another reason this movie was just bad, is because the person who wrote it, is also the main character, and his acting skills match his writing skills, horrible! must have been over budget?

Now don't get me wrong I am a big horror fan and love low budget movies, but this had the substance of a home movie, bad actors, horrible sets, unbearable script, and no plot, ya.. just like a home movie....

If you enjoy zombie movies I would stay away from this and cuddle up with ....day of the dead, dawn of the dead, night of the living dead, Shawn of the dead, the undead, and even the old school "zombie" movies...for some real zombie action.

I picked up this DVD in Hollywood Video hoping for a little zombie fix. Instead, I found myself going "Huh?"

CORPSES LAST FOREVER tries to be an original take on the zombie genre. The prologue before the credits is not bad. In black and white, we find a young man lying on the floor all bloodied. As he revives, a voice-over of his thoughts are trying to piece together what happened to him. He feels no pain, even though he has been shot and suffered a mangled leg. He grabs a gun on the floor and goes in search of his car.

OK, I was somewhat hooked at this moment.

After the opening credits roll (a take on James Bond films), we are introduced to a guy who has no idea who or where he is. But all of a sudden, he is kung-fooing some zombies who seem to be lined up left and right of center. This is where I start to groan, because these kicks and punches are NOT landing at all! I was reminded of the Elvis comeback special where Big E is showing off his martial arts moves in a musical/dance sequence where E seems to be kicking major bad-guy ass but the moves miss and the bad guys just merely jump and roll on the floor.

The plot of the movie seems to be part spy adventure, part army commando film and part devil-taking-over-the-world scenario. Zombies? Yes, there are zombies, but they seem to more fodder for the star to use his kung-foo than the driving force for the plot.

Jose Prendes wrote, directed, produced and stars in dual roles as the flashback guy and the kung-foo spy. Supposedly funded by Prendes' trust fund, the budget really shows. He seems to try and pay homage to several genres here. Several horror vets appear alongside Prendes; Richard Lynch, Debbie Rochon and Lennea Quigley (No, guys. She doesn't show any skin). Don Calfa (Ernie from ROTLD) is listed as a producer, along with Lynch. This Prendes must have some connections down there in Miami, where this was filmed.

Now the zombie action.

There is no munching, head shots or vacarious gore. NONE! The zombies only seem to stagger around while Prendes kung-foos them around and roll on the floor. Just like Elvis.

Corpses Are Forever (2003) is a waste of time. The film makers tried to make a cool movie but thinking somethings cool when it's not sucks, and so did this film. Instead of wasting money on B-Movie actors who know the product sucks, they should have spent in on production and writing a decent script. This movie is why Asylum is a joke of a company. They think they're Troma and they act like their product is all that and a bag of chips. You think that a company with the name Asylum would make edgy and horrific films that'll shock and terrorize you. Instead they scare you from watching any of their d.v.d.s

When you're making a movie, don't try and bring up cooler movies just so you can get some cred amongst old school horror fans. It wont work. You'll seem like you're reaching for some thing (and anything). The concept of this movie was interesting. Anybody could have made it work. The problem lies with these people. They just don't know how to make a watchable movie. Throwing stuff at the wall and seeing if it sticks is no way either. I could have made a better movie movie with $10,000 and three digital cameras.

Perhaps there's a market for this crap. I don't know who would watch this tripe but there must be. Just remember, have a decent script, motivated actors, a good director and lots of lighting. If you follows these rules you can make something that's watchable. If you try to make a movie that'll entertain yourself, you'll end up on the short end of the stick every time.

Not recommended. This movie is so bad it'll crack the lens within your d.v.d. player.