The Christmas Season Massacre

The Christmas Season Massacre (2001)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Cheaply produced horror film about a loser kid who gets picked on through school until one Christmas when he disappears without a trace. Each Christmas after that one of his classmates comes up murdered so after the latest victim the survivors gather up for some fun (WTF?). THE Christmas SEASON MASSACRE isn't a 100% "Christmas" horror film as it pretty much just takes place in Christmastown, CA and its story mentions the holiday. There's nothing visually that's going to take you back to Santa Claus but this isn't the biggest problem. I actually thought the film started off fairly well as we get a pretty funny story about the dork everyone picked on and then we follow this up with some fairly gory death scenes. Everything pretty much falls apart after this because there's simply not too much story to work with here and quite often we just get scenes that drag on for no reason other than to run up the running time. I think when the horror elements are on the film works the best. As I said, there are some pretty gory death scenes here and while the special effects are cheap at least the filmmakers tried to give fans what they would want. The film even gives us some nudity. As you'd expect, the performances aren't the greatest and there are all sorts of flaws with the film so in the end it's only going to be worth watching to fans of these types of films.

This is a type of movie you'd have to have fun with. Christmas Season Massacre, can't get anymore cliché than that eh! It leans itself on referential displays of homage. But a blast at that also.

The boys from the Rosa roster are included in this happy go lucky slash fest. Freaking hilarious people, 80's fried stalk n slash.

Tommy "one shoe" was, or is a loser and soon became the apitmy of himself. A blood thirsty maniac. The team of bully's unite to stop his reign of terror once and for all. In the meantime, they are all getting dispensed quite quickly one by one by ole' pirate boy himself. Guts a flyin" and jokes a plenty is what I have to say. Surely a mix of Eric Stanze's (www.wickedpixel.com ) flavor amongst this Wallace special.

Tons of heaping bucket loads of red and sauce. DJ Vivona gets taken out in a nice Toolbox fashion.

Good times, it's dynamite!

Let me preface with I love low budget B and even Z movies and I knew going in this would be super low budget and that the acting would probably be bad, but wow...it may actually be THE most boring and absolutely pointless post-apocalyptic dystopian wasteland movie I've ever seen. The only saving grace is that it's short for a feature, but not short enough. It actually probably would have been decent as a short film or maybe part of an anthology with a 20-30min runtime, but even at a mere 71mins I was struggling and kept checking how much time was left.

The whole premise is that the family is running very low on food and with the father missing after going on a supply run, the mother starts plotting I guess what she thinks will be a Christmas mercy killing. Mind you, they still have food, they're very close to running out, but they're not exactly rationing as much as they could be, they aren't starving or sick and both she and her son look healthy (and remarkably clean!). And they probably could actually find some more food if they ventured out more than once. The whole scenario is pretty stupid, at least the way it's depicted here. I could understand if they were literally starving or had radiation sickness or injuries or didn't have a safe place to stay, but none of that applies. So we finally get down to the last 10mins of the movie just to have random gas-mask wearing murder Santa show up and throw in a shock/wtf ending that definitely doesn't make the other 65mins of the movie worth watching. Definitely the most skippable Christmas/Holiday horror flick I've seen in decades.

Following a rash of strange deaths, a group of friends in a small- town are convinced it's the return of a notorious, legendary serial killer plaguing everyone for how they bullied him in the past and must band together at a local cabin to try to stop his rampage.

This here was quite a disappointing effort without a whole lot to offer. One of the main elements to really like here is the effort this one really to in order to sell the story of it's bullied main antagonist. Going into the backstory at the opening of the film detailing his history and what originally happened to him gives this one a solid base for establishing the tormented main villain and giving him a more than credible motivation for going through with his rampage later on. Those later stalking scenes here are quite fun for what's being presented, with the opening ambush on the couple in the car or his appearance at the house with the kinky couple, while the scenes of him appearing around the camp really ups the action as he unleashes some decent enough attacks on the group. As these manage to include some brutal and bloody kills, these here manage to come across as the only parts of this one that are worthwhile. A lot of the movie's flaws here come from the film's dead-set belief that it's hilarious and supposedly a goof yet nothing that happens here is even smirk- inducing. There's nothing at all creepy or terrifying about a scrawny, middle-aged man in an eye-patch with one shoe on running around the woods killing some of the most clueless, brain- dead people to have ever been born, and even as a joke it's simply not funny. The incessant ringing of Christmas bells whenever he's on-screen isn't helping matters at all, and there's nothing about the killer that's either funny or scary which carries on into the remaining characters. They're not in the slightest bit funny, appealing, engaging or possess even the slightest amount of brain-power to function here as they actually forget why they're supposedly gathered together to stop the killer, are completely unable to spot the killer who's wielding a running chainsaw coming up on them until they step on a tree branch nearby and engage in the most pointless, atonal and cringe-inducing songs that are supposedly romantic and mood-setting yet don't come off as anything but mindless rambling that is the complete opposite of it's intended feelings. None of these issues, though, are given any help with the low-budget which is so obvious and damaging that it really hampers the film with some utterly detrimental issues that don't offer any kind of help to the film by limiting this one to such unappealing work throughout here, and this one has to have nearly ten minutes of bloopers to get to a feature-length which is still a bit low. These here really work against this one and make it quite the unappealing effort.

Rated R: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Nudity and a kinky sex scene.

Man, this rocked. So many classic moments couples with great gore. The first scene with the woman getting gutted is quite nasty and graphic and it just plain rocked. Eric Stanze does his thing cool. The whole movie is great fun, and can't wait to see what Jeremy Wallace does with the UNDERTOW!

Gordo