Glenn Howerton credited as playing...
Corey Howard
- Corey Howard: Heads up! Punk rock rooster at twelve o'clock!
- June Tuesday: Did you just make some stupid, middle-class comment about my hair?
- Corey Howard: No.
- June Tuesday: Oh. Well, what do you ask for? The Blue Lagoon?
- Corey Howard: Well, what do you ask for? The Stegosaurus?
- June Tuesday: Ow! I'm so not going to the prom with you.
- Corey Howard: What am I supposed to do, huh? Live in a dump and drink out of bug candles the rest of my life? You know what I ought to tell her tomorrow at work? Done. Forget it. It's over. Because if she rejects my family, she rejects me.
- Roger: What is this, Godfather III?
- [Corey and Tuesday argue about coffee or something]
- Corey Howard: Whatever Spikey Maggoo!
- Margaret: Spikey Maggoo? Where'd you get that one from? Your Dad?
- Corey Howard: [remains silent]
- Margaret: Oh, my God, you did!
- R.T. Howard: [talking about Patty] So, uh, that was Roger's girlfriend, huh?
- Corey Howard: Yeah.
- R.T. Howard: Yeah. Yeah, good for him... I think I had her.
- Corey Howard: What?
- R.T. Howard: Yeah, it was a few years ago on St. Patrick's Day. I was bombed on green beer, and she was as cute as a damn leprechaun.
- Sophia: You know, Corey, if we were still dating, I could get any of your songs played at this club.
- Sophia: Oh, yeah, if we were still dating. Except, as I recall, you broke up with me and started dating my sister.
- Corey Howard: We're not dating! It's more like harassment!
- Corey Howard: Ugh! What's that smell?
- R.T. Howard: That smell is my little entrepreneur.
- Katie Howard: I'm making scented candles.
- Corey Howard: They smell like death!
- Katie Howard: Death? Or pina colada?
- Corey Howard: Death!
- [Corey is shaving, Katie walks in]
- Katie Howard: I'll take that!
- [Katie takes Corey's razor]
- Corey Howard: What are you doing?
- Katie Howard: I'm throwing it out because it's plastic, and non-biodegradable.
- Corey Howard: Well,
- [Corey holds up Katie's razor]
- Corey Howard: why aren't you throwing out your razor?
- Katie Howard: Because I'm an environmentalist.
- [Katie takes her razor]
- Katie Howard: I'm just not ready to be a *hairy* environmentalist.
- Roger: Have either of you seen Patty?
- Corey Howard, Owen: No.
- Corey Howard: Have you seen Tuesday?
- Roger, Owen: No.
- Owen: What about Katie?
- Roger, Corey Howard: No.
- Owen: Oh, my God. They've evacuated the women.
- June Tuesday: So, what, you want me to stay at your house with you and your family?
- Corey Howard: Well, we don't all sleep in the same room, you know. Come on, it'll be fun. We have doors.
- Katie Howard: Hello! Do you think I could put one of these up?
- [Katie holds up a poster]
- June Tuesday: Let me guess... A Cindy Lauper look-a-like contest? I think you've got a lock on it!
- Katie Howard: Uh, that's so mean! You must be Tuesday! I'm Katie, Corey's sister.
- [Corey walks up]
- Corey Howard: Oh, Earthday '84... Wow! It's early this year. - Still signing my checks Earthday '83.
- [Corey laughs at his own joke]
- Corey Howard: [Tuesday sarcastically laughs]
- June Tuesday: That was funny... To no one!
- Corey Howard: Wait a minute, you thought I was funny this morning when we were making fun of the yuppies.
- June Tuesday: That was then... This is now.
- [Tuesday exits]
- Katie Howard: I think she likes you!