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John Alderton and Pauline Collins in Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War (2002)

Gwenllian Davies: Audrey

Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War

Gwenllian Davies credited as playing...

Audrey

Quotes1

  • [a nurse has just witnessed sounds of passionate love-making followed by Hawksmoor and then Matron leaving the room with their clothing in disarray; Hawksmoor now comes into the dining room where Thelma, Bernard, Leslie, Joyce and Audrey are sitting with their arms folded, disgusted at being served cabbage yet again]
  • Hawksmoor: What is going on?
  • [no-one answers him]
  • Hawksmoor: [to Audrey] Miss Nightingale, why aren't you eating?
  • Hawksmoor: [to Leslie] Mr Hewitt?
  • Hawksmoor: [to Thelma] Is this your influence, Mrs Caldicot?
  • [still no-one answers him; they all sit with their arms folded, steadfastly refusing to eat]
  • Hawksmoor: What exactly is the problem?
  • Thelma Caldicot: It's rubbish. That's the problem.
  • Hawksmoor: This is perfectly balanced dietary cuisine.
  • Thelma Caldicot: Oh. Would you like to joins us?
  • Hawksmoor: [to Bernard] Mr Livingstone.
  • Bernard: I'm with Mrs Caldicot.
  • Leslie: So am I.
  • Joyce: So am I.
  • Audrey: And me.
  • Hawksmoor: [patronisingly] A missed meal can cause serious medical problems. I hope you're prepared to take on that responsiblity.
  • [they exchange glances and reluctantly start to eat]
  • Hawksmoor: Thank you.
  • [Hawksmoor turns to leave the room]
  • Bernard: Commander?
  • Hawksmoor: Yes?
  • Bernard: You're flying low, old boy.
  • Hawksmoor: What?
  • [Thelma turns to look at Hawksmoor, and smirks. Hawksmoor checks his fly and discovers that it is unzipped from his earlier "encounter" with the Matron]
  • Thelma Caldicot, Audrey, Joyce, Leslie, Bernard: [laugh]

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