Kevin Hart credited as playing...
CJ
- Mahalik: I heard Jamal from 90th street watched that tape last week and this mornin' he woke up dead!
- CJ: How the hell do you wake up dead?
- Mahalik: Cause' you're alive when you go to sleep.
- CJ: So you're telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive?
- Mahalik: You can't go to bed dead! That shit would've been redundant.
- CJ: No it would'nt cause' you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed.
- Mahalik: But you are in the bed. That's how you wake up dead in the first place fool!
- CJ: Damn! that's some quantum shit right there man! You should be teaching classes!
- George: You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here
- [puts hand up in the air]
- George: and start livin' down here?
- [puts hand down low]
- Mahalik: Or what if we stop livin' over here
- [puts his hand out to the side]
- Mahalik: and move over there?
- [puts his hand to the other side]
- CJ: Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though.
- Mahalik: For what?
- CJ: Mice.
- Mahalik: I thought she had rats?
- CJ: No, rats are outside, mice are inside.
- Mahalik: But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?
- CJ: I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'.
- Mahalik: That's because it's a rat, fool!
- CJ: Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha!
- George: Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything...
- U-God: You stepped on my shoe, bitch!
- Redman: Man, call me a bitch again and I'll park your truck... dead in yo ass!
- Macy Gray: DAMN, HOMEY!
- CJ: [to the rappers] Hey yo, they comin! Over here!
- RZA: If I was you, son, I'd bust this shit right now!
- Method Man: Yo Momma!
- U-God: I got your number too, homey.
- Master P: He ain't gonna bust nuthin. I got nuts bigger than him.
- RZA: Oh, yeah? I'll roll up on you too... you country ass maple syrup biscuit eatin' nigga!
- Master P: Ya'll want some biscuits? You want some biscuits?
- [a shootout happens between all the gangster rappers; Macy Gray fires a rocket launcher killing all of them and herself]
- Tom: I cannot believe what just happened!
- President Harris: These men all died for their country. Send flowers to their bitches and hos.