Griffin Dunne credited as playing...
Frank Zappa
- Frank Zappa: Alright, we don't have much time, so I'm just going to give you the condensed version. Every few years rock becomes the whipping boy for some politicians looking to make an easy score. This is before they started to crop Elvis's pelvis. Dean Martin, banned from radio in 1951, "Wham Bam, Thank You Ma'am" his song was thought to be too suggestive. I always thought it was about a lady carpenter, doesn't matter, they decided for me. Oh, this is a good one, "Louie Louie", the FBI and the FCC spent months listening to this at various speeds looking for dirty words, and they found them, in their own dirty minds. Bob Dylan, banned from the Ed Sullivan Show in 1963, as if anyone could understand what he was saying anyway. John Lennon, Peter Paul and Mary, Janis Joplin, Rolling Stones, Crosby Stills Nash and Young, banned banned banned, all of them banned!
- Frank Zappa: So, you want to tell me why you're bending over for the Censor Sorority?
- Charlie Burner: They're just a group of concerned parents that are exercising their freedom of speech.
- Frank Zappa: Uh huh, yeah, sure, they might even have a point, I mean there's a lot of stuff I wouldn't want my kids listening to, Rick Springfield for example, but they've crossed the line, Charlie, with their connections there's no telling where this is going to end.
- Charlie Burner: We're talking about labels, not censorship.
- Frank Zappa: Oh come on, Charlie, we know how this works: they put labels on the albums they don't like, Wal-Mart refuses to sell albums with labels, pretty soon, there are no more albums they don't like. What I want to know is why are the people who are supposedly looking after my best interest in our nation's capital, licking the jack boots of the very people who want to make this happen?
- Frank Zappa: The PMRC proposal is an ill-conceived piece of nonsense created by bored housewives. A sinister kind of toilet-training program to housebreak all composers and performers because of the lyrics of a few. Ladies, how dare you? What if the next bunch of Washington wives demanded a large yellow J on all material written and performed by Jews in order to save helpless children from exposure to concealed Zionist doctrine?
- Pamela Stone: [to Charlie Burner] So much for toning it down.
- Frank Zappa: The ladies' shame must be shared by the record industry and their lobbyists who choose to bargain away the rights of composers and performers in order to pass the Blank Tape Tax, a private tax levied by an industry on consumers.
- Frank Zappa: I'm told you may be one of the monkeys responsible for my record label's disgusting capitulation to an uptight bunch of Washington housewives.
- Charlie Burner: Who is this?
- Frank Zappa: My name is Frank Zappa and I'm coming for you, monkey boy.