The Foreigner

Jonathan Cold is a freelance agent who is hired by Alexander Marques to carry a package across Europe to Jerome Van Aiken. When the simple collection turns into a gunfire that ends with the building in flames, Cold suspects something is up but, after a diversion to his father's funeral, continues to try and deliver the package. However as the hours pass, Cold finds that more and more people seem to want either a) the package, b) Cold stone cold dead or c) both of the above. Unsure of who these people are or why they want the package (or even what the package is because, despite everyone in the world betraying him, he is too "professional" to look inside) Cold tries to sort out right from wrong and make it out alive.

Call me a stubborn man but although Out For A Kill was a shambles, I still somehow thought that I would give this joint Oblowitz/Seagal film a shot. Very quickly it becomes apparent that the plot isn't going to stand up for longer than 20 minutes – which is a problem in a 90 minute film. Taking the usual cliché of an agent being chased by all sides, trying to find a solution, this film forgets to actually write it in such a way that it makes sense or even engages. People pop up all over the place, are thrown out of windows and generally interact with bullets or explosions in one way or another but we don't really know who they are or why they are doing it. In one sense this might have worked by producing a general sense of claustrophobia and tension but it doesn't – instead it gives the impression that the writers haven't done much with the story other than drawing up a storyboard where lots of people fall through windows. This lack of effort in the writing is not only at this level but also runs all through the film – for example on man behind shot twice by a shotgun (at 10 foot range), falling out a second storey window but turning up alive minutes later with an injury to his side but generally fine otherwise.

With these problems it will be no surprise to find that the characters are poor. Most of them are just cardboard clichés but Cold is the main problem. Here is someone we are meant to like, who is a professional, however he managed to be completely lacking in morals and is closer to the baddies than I'm sure Seagal would have liked. For example he pays some "normal" guy to deliver his car to Germany, thus drawing the bad guys away from him – problem is, the normal guy was always going to get killed – is this a plan that is meant to make me like him or care if Cold lives or dies? Maybe this was the point but, if it was, it didn't work because Seagal delivers it just the same as ever – loads of mumbles and slightly altering his tone of voice when required to display any emotion. Ryan is a little bit more expressive (and thus fun) but he seems to spend most of his time running away from explosions or reappearing from the dead. The rest of the support is bland, being made up of obscure sports stars turned actors and lots of people trying to look classy without the material to allow them to do it. Suffice to say that, when none of the cast even manage to outshine Seagal then you know things aren't good.

Overall a poor Seagal film that even fans will struggle to get into. The action is poor and is directed with no flow (or edit longer than a second) and it is too hard to get excited about it. This leaves the story, which is a sorry mess of a plot that makes no effort to engage or make sense of; basically it just relies on people falling through glass and those looking for a complex thriller and not just wasting their time – they are deluding themselves. Even Seagal fans (if any remain) will struggle to care about this garbage.

This movie seems somewhat promising at first, but quickly spirals into a pointless mesh of betrayal and murder. As just about everyone who's posted before me has said, this film basically follows a series of nameless, faceless people around looking for a package. In the process, roughly half of Poland's population is shot in the chest by a guy who must smoke a carton of cigarettes in the mercifully brief 90 minute running time. I don't remember the names of any of these characters or the actors who portrayed them. All I can say is that I'm sure everyone involved has seen better days.

And what's up with the editing in this movie? Does the guy in charge of postproduction really think slowing down and then quickly speeding up the film is going to add anything to the experience? Was writing a coherent story out of the question? Keep in mind these are all rhetorical questions. I intend to forget this travesty before I even hit the "submit" button.

The movie fascinated me because of the plot, but once it got underway my fascination took a different direction. I think for the only time in my life I laughed at people getting shot. Segall's Dutch accomplice shoots everyone! He himself is shot four different times. The hotel clerk won't give out a room number? Ask her to call and see which number she dials. Then, instead of unobtrusively going to that room, shoot her!

The farce is complete when Segall faces down an opponent holding a gun 20 yards away. He flings a flight recorder CD with a little C4 stuck on like gum at his assailant. We see the disk igniting in mid-air in slow motion. Does the other guy shoot? No, he just stares at a CD coming to blow him away. The CD has the extra fun effect of propelling him backwards and upwards through a conveniently placed 2nd story picture window.

I must admit; I enjoyed this so much that I immediately went out to get another Segall movie to see if it is as ridiculous. I can't explain why this is entertaining, but it is! IT IS!!

When you watch a Seagal movie, you expect good action. You expect fighting, not just a lot of shooting like in this flick. And: you expect a rather simple story. OK, I can live with a more complex story even though it's a Seagal movie. But this one, this is, I don't know what to say. It's very, very confusing indeed. At the end of the movie, I had major problems figuring out what had happened. And I know I'm not the only one. The story lacks so much information and is so full of plot holes that it's nearly impossible to keep track of what's happening in the movie. There are many people in the movie, people change sides all the time, and it switches locations too often. Terrible. I just don't understand why it looks like Seagal is making a sort of sequel to this one.

Im hoping this was made before Half Past Dead and Exit Wounds because it was rubbish, Seagal wasnt to blame it was down to the crap directing when the few action scenes took place. The plot was also confusing and basically just felt rushed out, maybe it was shelved and released to capitalise on Seagals newer films??

3/10

He's not through yet, bring on Under Siege 3 and loose some weight!