Brendan Fraser credited as playing...
DJ Drake • Brendan Fraser • Voice of Tazmanian Devil and Tazmanian She-Devil
- DJ Drake: This security guard thing, that's just what I do for money. I'm a... I'm a stuntman.
- Daffy Duck: You? A stuntman? Please.
- DJ Drake: I am! Did you see those "Mummy" movies? I'm in there more than Brendan Fraser is!
- Daffy Duck: You live with Daddy?
- DJ Drake: Yeah, so? only... temporarily...
- Daffy Duck: Oh, I've hit rock-bottom. I'm hanging out with a security guard who lives with his father.
- Kate Houghton: I need you to eject this duck.
- DJ Drake: Lady, this is Daffy Duck.
- Kate Houghton: Not anymore; we own the name.
- Daffy Duck: Oh yeah? Well, you can't stop ME from calling myself D-(gasp)... D-(gasp)... well, whatayaknow.
- [DJ sees a spaceship heading right towards them]
- DJ Drake: Dad, I think we should move.
- Damien Drake: What's wrong with Beverly Hills?
- DJ Drake: I meant from this spot.
- Daffy Duck: Ah, it's good to stretch.
- DJ Drake: You know, I'm getting really tired of throwing you out of the car.
- Daffy Duck: That's my plan in a nutshell.
- DJ Drake: [to Kate] You.
- Kate Houghton: [to DJ] You.
- Daffy Duck: [to Bugs] You.
- Bugs Bunny: [about DJ] Him.
- Daffy Duck: [about Kate] Her.
- Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck: Them.
- [DJ and Yosemite Sam follow the Queen of Diamonds playing card to Foghorn Leghorn's blackjack table, where it gets shuffled into the deck]
- Foghorn Leghorn: Place, I say, place your bets! Money plays, loser stays! Everyone's a winn - well, not everyone.
- Yosemite Sam: [Drops a bag of money on the table] Here's my money, now play!
- Foghorn Leghorn: Card, sir?
- DJ Drake: Hit me.
- Foghorn Leghorn: Don'cha, I say, don'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball.
- DJ Drake: [looks at the card; it's an ace] Hit me.
- Yosemite Sam: No, hit me first!
- Foghorn Leghorn: Wait your, I saya wait your turn, sir.
- [deals another ace to DJ]
- DJ Drake: Hit me.
- [Foghorn deals another ace]
- DJ Drake: Hit me.
- Yosemite Sam: No, hit me!
- [Foghorn continues to deal aces and twos to DJ. Sam can't take it anymore]
- Yosemite Sam: No, no, no, hit ME, fragnabbit!
- [Foghorn glances at the audience, then smashes Sam in the head with a piece of wood. Squashed, Sam scuttles around the table, cursing unintelligibly]
- Foghorn Leghorn: He's the boss.
- [Back to DJ]
- Foghorn Leghorn: Card Sir?
- [DJ winces at the possibility of himself getting hit as well]
- DJ Drake: [unsure] ... Hit me?
- [Foghorn finally deals the Queen of Diamonds; DJ snatches it off the table]
- Foghorn Leghorn: Twenty-one! We have, I say we have a winner!
- [DJ and Daffy break for the door]
- Daffy Duck: And then, they made their heroic escape!
- [Daffy runs facefirst into the door that isn't open. DJ comes back, peels Daffy off, and exits again]
- [a Wal-Mart appears in the desert]
- Bugs Bunny: Is that a mirage, or just product placement?
- Daffy Duck: Oh, who cares, with shopping convenience at such low prices? Water! Fresca! Mountain Dew! Your Product Name Here!
- DJ Drake: Is this your idea?
- Kate Houghton: The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.
- DJ Drake: What brings you to Las Vegas. You ran out of people to fire in LA?
- Kate Houghton: You stole my duck.
- Daffy Duck: Your duck? Bah! I belong to the world.
- DJ Drake: You know what? You can have him.
- Granny: Now, I you can just give me the diamond...
- [takes off a disguise]
- Mr. Chairman: immediately!
- Tweety Bird: oh! now it't my turn...
- [takes off a disguise]
- Tasmanian Devil: [roars and then farts] pardon.
- DJ Drake: I knew it was you!
- Mr. Chairman: well you're wrong! 'cause I'm not me! I'm actually...
- [takes off another disguise]
- Damien Drake: your farther.
- DJ Drake: Dad?
- Damien Drake: look into your heart son, you know it's true.
- DJ Drake: no, it can't be.
- Damien Drake: well you're right! because it *isn't*!
- [takes off another disguise]
- Michael Jordan: right, lets do some drills.
- [takes off another disguise]
- Mr. Chairman: [maniacal laughing] well who's laughing now?
- [crickets chirping]
- Mr. Chairman: well, apparently no one.
- Bugs Bunny: All those in favour of us *not* hitting that wall, say 'aye'.
- Kate Houghton, DJ Drake, Daffy Duck: Aye!
- Daffy Duck: Mother!
- Spy Car Computer: Taking you to Mother!
- Bugs Bunny: So this is Area 51?
- Mother: No.
- Bugs Bunny: The secret government base?
- Mother: No.
- Bugs Bunny: Where they keep all the aliens?
- Mother: No. Area 51 is a paranoid fantasy we concocted to hide the true nature of this facility.
- DJ Drake: Which is?
- Mother: Area 52.
- DJ Drake: The great thing about movies, you always know what's gonna happen. For intense, if this was a movie, you and I'd probably wind up together.
- DJ Drake: We think we should go back and help him?
- Kate Houghton: Nah. Elmer never gets Bugs.
- [Mr. Smith peeks in behind Kate]
- Kate Houghton: It's a formula, but it works.
- [Mr. Smith silently kidnaps Kate]
- DJ Drake: [to Kate in the Damien's car] Excuse me.
- [Kate turns her head toward DJ]
- DJ Drake: You!
- Kate Houghton: You!
- Daffy Duck: You.
- Bugs Bunny: Him.
- Daffy Duck: Her.
- Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck: Them!
- [Daffy and DJ is exploring the casino floor of Yosemite Sam's Wooden Nickel]
- Daffy Duck: [Jumps up to the chair next to the slot machine the woman is currently playing; with the playbill] Did you know that Dusty Tails sang the theme song to six Damian Drake movies?
- DJ Drake: Yeah I know. He's my father, remember?
- Daffy Duck: Your Dad is Damian Drake?
- DJ Drake: [shouting] Yes!
- Daffy Duck: I'm kidding, relax. We did that, okay?
- Dusty Tails: [Grabs the poker card] I was supposed to give him this.
- DJ Drake: [as Daffy grabs the card] That.
- Daffy Duck: [Examines the card] This is not a king-sized diamond.
- [the card is shown with the heads of Mona Lisa plastering the queen's heads]
- Daffy Duck: [offscreen] This is a Queen of Diamonds.
- Daffy Duck: What kind of sick joke is this?
- [Dusty karate chops Daffy's neck as she grabs the card from hjm]
- DJ Drake: Oh. Can I have that?
- Daffy Duck: [Offscreen] Very funny.
- Dusty Tails: Aah. That is so sweet.
- DJ Drake: hey, Dad, can't you just call the police or something?
- Damien Drake: guys like me don't call the police.
- [throws a grenade at the Acme Agent]
- Acme Agent: uh oh...
- [as the grenade explodes]
- Acme Agent: [lets out the Wilhelm Scream] AAH!