Artie Lange credited as playing...
Gimbel's Santa
- Buddy: [Confused] Who the heck are you?
- Gimbel's Santa: What are you talkin' about? I'm Santa Claus.
- Buddy: No, you're not.
- Gimbel's Santa: Uh, why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
- Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
- Gimbel's Santa: Um, Happy Birthday of course. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. How old are you son?
- Kid with Santa: Four.
- Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?
- Kid with Santa: Paul.
- Gimbel's Santa: Now what can I get you for Christmas?
- Buddy: Paul, don't tell him what you want, he's a liar.
- Gimbel's Santa: Let the kid talk.
- Buddy: You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?
- Gimbel's Santa: Just cool it, Zippy.
- Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies.
- Gimbel's Santa: Look, I'm not kiddin'.
- Buddy: You're a fake.
- Gimbel's Santa: I'm a fake?
- Buddy: Yes!
- Gimbel's Santa: How'd you like to be dead, huh?
- Kid with Santa: [whispering] Fake.
- Gimbel's Santa: No, he's kidding.
- Buddy: [sniffing] You stink.
- Gimbel's Santa: I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.
- Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese. You don't smell like Santa.