Burt Ward credited as playing...
Burt Ward
- [Adam and Burt are at a diner. Burt reads a menu]
- Burt Ward: Holy lunch specials! Look at this.
- Adam West: It appears to be a menu, Burt. Not an unusual thing in a place like this.
- Burt Ward: But look what's *on* the menu, or rather *who*. A "Burgess Burger... "
- Adam West: What?
- Burt Ward: "Gorshin Franks and Beans... " "Cesar Romero Salad... " "Vincent Fries... " They even have drinks. Look, a "Julie New-Martini."
- [Burt hands Adam the menu and Adam reads it]
- Adam West: "Art Chili Con Carney... " "Zsa Zsa Gabor... " "Liberace... " All these people disguised as daily specials!
- Burt Ward: Almost every actor who played a villain our characters battled.
- Adam West: Battled? Yes, and triumphed over. Any one of them could still be harboring a grudge.
- Burt Ward: Adam, they're only actors.
- Adam West: I'm sure they'd like us to think so, Burt. But there's more here than meets the eye.
- [Adam and Burt look around suspiciously]
- Adam West: Very odd.
- Burt Ward: What's that?
- Adam West: [checking his watch] It's time for an act break, but that voice is strangely absent.
- Burt Ward: *He* must be on a break.
- Adam West: Possibly. But now that he's not here, I miss him.
- Adam West: [after driving all night to the Arizona border in the search for the Batmobile] I think the clue is in our past, somewhere...
- Burt Ward: What's this?
- [removes flyer from under the car's windshield wiper]
- Adam West: ...we still have to find it.
- Burt Ward: [reads flyer] Hey Adam, look. The Highway to Arizona Bar is having a Happy Hour. Great place. Just down the street from the car museum.
- Adam West: [grabs flyer and reads it with stunned disbelief] You... you... you *knew* about that place?
- Burt Ward: [not getting it] Yeah. Why?
- Adam West: [aggravated] Oh!
- Burt Ward: [thinks about it and realizes they've driven all night for nothing] Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!
- [Adam and Burt are sitting in the Batmobile at the charity event]
- Burt Ward: Wow. You know, it seems like almost yesterday.
- Adam West: Almost thirty-five years Burt. Time tumbles by.
- Burt Ward: You know I forget what some of these buttons do.
- Adam West: I wouldn't touch those if I were...
- [Burt presses a button and oil slick sprays out onto the crowd]
- Burt Ward: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Sorry, I didn't know it was loaded.
- Adam West: That's why they usually left the driving to me.
- [after the Batmobile's been stolen and leaves fire-tire tracks]
- Charity Event Host: The Batmobile's been stolen.
- Adam West: [holding up his car key] Using my key.
- Burt Ward: Holy tire tracks! Look, they go from two to one. It went out on two wheels. That fiend.
- Adam West: He may be a fiend, but he's an excellent driver.
- Adam West: We've entered the mind of a madman.
- Jerry the Butler: My mind and welcome to it.
- Adam West: Alfred?
- Jerry the Butler: Jerry! How many times do I have to tell you? It's Jerry!
- Burt Ward: The butler did it. We should've seen this coming a mile away.
- Adam West: Diabolical!
- Jerry the Butler: Even more than you think, Mr. West.
- [Jerry unmasks himself and it is Frank Gorshin]
- Burt Ward: Holy plot twist! Your butler is... Frank Gorshin?