John Cleese credited as playing...
- Ape: I'm happy to see you too. What are you doing here?
- George: George here to help. Tookie say Ape in trouble. Broke. Busted. No Benjamins.
- Ape: Broke? It's all a big misunderstanding. I'm perfectly fine. That's why I'm... giving away all my furniture.
- George: George happy Ape perfectly fine. Only wish George perfectly fine.
- Ape: What's the matter?
- George: Ursula think George spend too much time with animals. Animals think George spend too much time with Ursula. George so upset, think about taking off neck crown.
- Ape: George, I should've told you earlier, but I have some gambling debts that I have to pay off for a little while.
- George: How little?
- Ape: Seventeen years.
- George: George think maybe that might be too late.
- Ape: Get her a nice present to help scratch it.
- [switch scenes]
- Ursula: A backscratcher.
- George: To help with itch.
- Ape: George, this is Rocky. He's very honored to meet you.
- Ursula: Why do they call him Rocky?
- [bell dings and Rocky punches George's face]
- Ape: Because when he gets nervous, he does that.
- George: [in between blows] George... honored... to... meet... Rocky... too.
- Narrator: So, with his devoted son and dormant wife, George headed back to his homeland. After getting a tip from Brendan Fraser, who was cramped during the first picture, this time he made sure to get a bigger crate.
- George Jr: Dad? I'm afraid. What're we gonna do about mom?
- George: [sighs] George not know. But Ursula not recognize George even before George level her. What Ape think?
- Ape: Either we should check the crate for pods, or she's in some sort of hypnotic trance. She doesn't know who you are.
- Ape: I understand your concern, and if I return... uh, when I return, I will coordinate your schedule to the satisfaction of everyone. It's just a question of balance.
- George: George good at balance. See?
- [stands on one foot and trips over man carrying big box]
- George: George still worried about Ursula. She's lonely and she worried she not cook or clean as well as Ape.
- Ape: Well, she might have a point there
- Ape: [while surrounded on roof] I'm sorry, old chum. We did everything we could.
- [George looks around and sees rope ladder dropping from airplane]
- George: Aah! George have idea.
- Ape: [moans]
- Ape: I tell you George, it's good to be home.
- George: Maybe Tookie wrong, and Mean Lion not king. Jungle not look different.
- Narrator: Not different? Look at the signs, George! The signs! But George missed the signs, signs even an illiterate warthog would have noticed.
- Narrator: And they would've had their big, bonecrushing fight for the kingdom, had it not been for the secret trick Ape taught him when they were kids.
- George Jr: The ear, George!
- [George pulls lion's ear and lion falls]
- George Jr: Woah, cool.
- Ape: There, see?
- George: [sighs] George wish life always this easy.
- [George and Ape crash into Las Vegas' Empire State Building]
- Ape: [to the audience] You didn't think we were going to pass up this parody.
- [Ape reaches to help George, looking like King Kong]
- Narrator: Ferklempt at finally finding each other again, George and his brother Ape had a big, emotional reunion.
- George: Hi.
- Ape: Hello.
- Narrator: Oh, come on, you can do better than that.
- [George and Ape hug and roll around on floor, hooting and laughing]
- [Light shines on George, Ape, and Rocky]
- Kowalski: Going somewhere?
- Ape: Who are you? Xena, Princess of Vegas?
- Sally: We'll see how funny you are when you're stuck in our special cage at the Van de Groot Zoo. In case you've forgotten, you still owe us 17 years of employment.
- Kowalski: Get moving.
