Keith Scott: Narrator

George of the Jungle 2

Narrator

[first lines]
Narrator: The jungle--to the untrained eye, it looks the same as in our first movie. But things have changed, and it's not just because we're using a different set. Domestic bliss has broken out over the Bukuvu. Parenthood has found that defender of the innocent, protector of the weak, and all-around good guy, George of the Jungle
[George rides by on Shep]
Narrator: And as our story begins, our popular potent potentate has produced a prince--Huh? Wait a minute! Who the heck are you?
George: Me new George. Studio too cheap to pay Brendan Fraser.
George Jr: Ha ha ha. Let's go, dad!
[runs off]
Narrator: How did you get the part?
George: New George just lucky, I guess.

[George crashes into tree]
Narrator: And in case you were worried, the new George takes a tree as well as Brendan Fraser.

Narrator: With Shep down for the count, George felt the need to rally his troops.
George: Don't worry! George not know meaning of defeat! George not know meaning of most words. But especially defeat! And George will stand here just as long as George's name is...
[George gets conked in the head by two coconuts]
George: ...Herb.

Narrator: George realized that the only way to win was to fight fire with... coconuts?

Narrator: Now that the prince is turning five, George is grooming his son to be the heir to the throne.
[George is picking at Junior's hair]
Narrator: Uh... George, that's grooming him to be heir, not grooming his hair.

Narrator: Meanwhile, that dastardly duo of damsels, Sally and Kowalski, were searching every nook and cranny.
[Women search old woman]
Narrator: That's cranny, not granny!

Narrator: As George gleefully greeted his performing pals. Ursula wondered if she'd ever come first.
Ursula: [to herself] I wonder if I'll ever come first.

Narrator: Feeling dazed and confused, or more dazed and confused than normal, George sought professional help.
George: [Tookie language] Meekee kyukkya.
Tookie: Aah... Tookie Tookie!
[talking in unintelligible Tookie language and Tookie bangs head against pole]
Tookie: [angry] Aak aak eek eek Tookie Tookie!
George: [abruptly stops] George know Tookie trying, but need talk to brother Ape. Maybe Tookie fly to get brother ape?
[pulls postcard from loincloth]
George: Aak aak eek eek Tookie Tookie?
Tookie: Nu-uh.
George: [sighs] Then George just talk more.
Tookie: [flies out] Aak! Tookie Tookie!

Narrator: Anxious to see his bankrubt bretheren Ape, but not wanting to stand out like a simian from the sticks, George made a stop.
George: New George look pretty good in armani too.

Narrator: So, with his devoted son and dormant wife, George headed back to his homeland. After getting a tip from Brendan Fraser, who was cramped during the first picture, this time he made sure to get a bigger crate.
George Jr: Dad? I'm afraid. What're we gonna do about mom?
George: [sighs] George not know. But Ursula not recognize George even before George level her. What Ape think?
Ape: Either we should check the crate for pods, or she's in some sort of hypnotic trance. She doesn't know who you are.

Narrator: Unaware of the threat both home and abroad, George and his extended jungle family took off on their first trip.
George Jr: Look, look!
George: Ooh. Las Vegas.

Ape: I tell you George, it's good to be home.
George: Maybe Tookie wrong, and Mean Lion not king. Jungle not look different.
Narrator: Not different? Look at the signs, George! The signs! But George missed the signs, signs even an illiterate warthog would have noticed.

Narrator: And they would've had their big, bonecrushing fight for the kingdom, had it not been for the secret trick Ape taught him when they were kids.
George Jr: The ear, George!
[George pulls lion's ear and lion falls]
George Jr: Woah, cool.
Ape: There, see?
George: [sighs] George wish life always this easy.

Narrator: Feeling more alone than Sigfried without Roy, our dauntless daring defiant jungle gunslinger went out to save the Bukuvu.
[George and dozers advance on each other]
Narrator: But soon his friends joined him. Like the Magnificent Seven, if they hadn't been magnificent. And they consisted of a dim-witted king, an elephant who thought he was a dog, an ape, a bird, a little monkey, and a kangaroo. They marched, flew, and hopped out to meet the enemy.
Tookie: Tookie Tookie!
Narrator: And just between you and me, it didn't look good.

Narrator: But, luckily for George, after a delayed reaction to his insouciant iambic pentameter, the jungle's other vacillating varmits joined the fight with their potent potentate. For those of you without a thesaurus, that's: After a delayed reaction to his speech, the other animals joined the bruhaha with their king.

Narrator: George still had one more official duty.
[kisses Tiffany]
Tiffany: George!
Narrator: Helping Ursula bring her friends out of their hypnotic trance.
[kisses Courtney]
Courtney: Ooh, George.
[kisses Betsy]
George: Eee!
[Betsy pulls him close]
Betsy: [while kissing] But I still don't recognize him. Stan? Stan? Is that you? Hey, Stan?

Narrator: Imagining the steel of the deleterious dozers separating his upper half from his lower, George led his troops in a slow and orderly retreat.
[George panics and runs away]

Lyle: [to the Narrator in annoyance] I think I speak for everyone including the audience when I say this constant stream of annoying alliteration IS ANNOYING! What are you gonna do about that? Huh? Huh?
Lyle: [as the Narrator's gigantic hand pulls him out of the story] Come on! That hurts! Wait! Oh! Aaaah!
Narrator: Anyone else have any critiques or comments?
[the others shake their heads]
Narrator: Good.

Narrator: Yes, that's Ursula's foppish former fiancé, Lyle Van de Groot. You remember the graceful Van de Groot from the first movie.
[the Narrator refreshes the audience's memory by showing the scene from the previous film when Lyle fell into some elephant droppings in the jungle]
Lyle: [humiliated and annoyed with the Narrator] Was it really necessary to show that scene?