Thomas Haden Church credited as playing...
Dwayne
- Police Officer: Now you do realize that was a Depelter Turbo.
- Gladys: Officer, please. It was that Verminator! He sold it me! This has nothing to do with me!
- Police Officer: Hey, hey, it was in your yard, your name's on the contract, so you can tell it to the judge.
- Gladys: No! It's not my fault! Let go of me!
- Police Officer: Ma'am...
- Gladys: I can't be arrested! I'm the President of the Homeowners of Assoication!
- Dwayne: [quietly as she is fighting the police] Get her.
- [he climbs over a fence and accidently steps on a squeak toy]
- Nugent the Dog: Play.
- Dwayne: Oh, no, no, no, no, no...
- [there is a bite heard]
- Dwayne: AHHHHH!
- Gladys: [after installing a lot of traps] What about this one, this Depelter Turbo?
- Dwayne: That's a contraband item, ma'am, as it is illegal in every state,
- [with his hand over his heart]
- Dwayne: except Texas.
- Gladys: I don't care if this violates the Geneva Conventions, I want it.
- Dwayne: I thought you might, so I took the liberty of installing it for you.
- [as he tosses a stuffed bear in it]
- Dwayne: Adios, animal infenstation.
- RJ: [it traps it] AHHHHH!
- Gladys: [we see it in a cage, with outside burned off] Ohhh, very nice.
- Dwayne: I believe someone phoned about an animal problem? The solution is standing before you. Dwayne LaFontaine is here.
- Gladys: Where have you been? I am throwing a Welcome to the Neighborhood party tomorrow, and so far, Debbie's car has killed more animals than you have.
- Dwayne: Stand down, sister. I personally guarantee that there won't be a living thing at this party. The Verminator is on the job.
- Dwayne: [after shooting the head off a plastic flamingo] Arrrgh! Not again! Those things are so lifelike! Curse you, plastic moldsmen.