Roger Bart credited as playing...
Roger Bannister
- Bobbi Markowitz: My psychiatrist says I need creative chaos.
- Roger Bannister: My shrink says I need boundaries.
- Joanna Eberhart: My doctor says I need enough electricity to jumpstart Vegas.
- Joanna Eberhard: If you're in Manhattan, what do you do if you find out you're neighbour is sick?
- Roger Bannister: Call her...
- Bobbi Markowitz: -To see if she is going to die...
- Roger Bannister: -So we could rent the apartment.
- Roger Bannister: [Excited] Jerry... Jerry, its a bakesale! An actual bakesale! It's like some heavenly diorama at the Smithsonian in the Hall of Homemakers.
- Roger Bannister: Oh, no. No, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. That is not cobbler!
- Jerry Harmon: Roger... could we - could we reel it in a couple hundred yards?
- Roger Bannister: [to the Stepford Wives at bakesale] How do you ladies keep your figures? Is there just a huge vat of cobbler vomit somewhere?... But worth it?
- Joanna Eberhart: How do I look?
- Bobbi Markowitz: Can I be perfectly honest?
- Joanna Eberhart: Mm-hmmm.
- Bobbi Markowitz: You kind of look like Betty Crocker.
- Joanna Eberhart: I know.
- Roger Bannister: At Betty Ford.
- Claire Wellington: [at the Stepford Bookclub, Claire is discussing a book on Christmas] Now Bobbi. We all realize you're probably feeling a bit uncomfortable with this weeks book because...
- [Frowns]
- Claire Wellington: what's the word I'm looking for
- Additional Stepford Wife: New?
- Sarah Sunderson: Scared?
- Roger Bannister: Cranky?
- Claire Wellington: [remembering] Jewish.
- Bobbi Markowitz: [smiling] Same thing.
- Claire Wellington: [to all] But the Heritage Hills series is very inclusive. In fact there is a whole chapter,
- [to Bobbi]
- Claire Wellington: about Chanukah
- Claire Wellington: I'm the only decent person left
- Joanna Eberhart: In Stepford?
- Claire Wellington: In the world!
- Roger Bannister: [gasps] She's fabulous!
- Joanna Eberhard: But, she had sparks coming out of her ears.
- Roger Bannister: That's the first sign.
- Joanna Eberhard: Of what?
- Roger Bannister: Cheap jewelery.