James Heathcote credited as playing...
Merv Doody
- Merv Doody: Oh yes. This is my birthday, Christmas, Yom Kippur all rolled into one. Look at 'em. Look at the two losers. They haven't got a clue. They are 100% chainsaw fodder.
- Looney: But I'm not a serial killer.
- Merv Doody: Yeah, whatever.
- Looney: Give me another chance, I'll try again. If you help me and I really put my mind to it I'm sure I could hack you to death, maim you, seriously deform you for life at least.
- Merv Doody: You've already messed up my hard-hitting schlockumentary. I wanted Freddy Krueger and you gave me Noel Coward.
- Merv Doody: Who knows? Maybe I'm looking at the next Freddy, the new Jason!
- Looney: Freddie Mercury and Jason Priestley? I love those guys!
- Onkey: Look, the doctor is Frankenstein, the monster is called Frankenstein's monster.
- Merv Doody: Oh, like Dawson's Creek.