The Ranch

Well, not really speechless, because I have a lot to say about this movie!

Before I went to rent this DVD, I had read reviews and descriptions about the movie on several sites. It's about the women who work at a brothel in Nevada, and phrases like "sexually explicit" and "T&A" were coming up more than once. Brothel? T&A? You pretty much know what to expect with this movie, right? So I go to the video store and read the cover, and the description is about what I had seen on the net; it even says "Rated R: Sexual content, Including dialogue". I think to myself, "This was made for Showtime, I wonder why it's even rated?", but I'm not really concerned, because I've seen several PG-13 movies that have a fair amount of T&A, so an R rated version of a movie made for pay-cable should still be more or less intact. Right?

Then I get it home and watch it, and I end up looking around the room for the hidden camera, because I know I must be being "Punk'd". Why? First, there is the "Sexual Content"; There is no nudity in this movie. None. Zero. No brief flashes, no side views, nada. And what about the "dialogue"? The F-word is clumsily (and obviously, just look at their mouths!) dubbed with words like "frick" and "heck", a**hole is replaced with "arrogant" and "blowhard", b!tch replaced with "witch", the phrase "BJ" is inserted where the actors mouths are clearly saying the two words that "BJ" stands for, etc., etc. I've done a bit more searching on the net, and have found out that there are both "Unrated" and "R-Rated" versions of the DVD. That's fine, many movies have an unrated release that adds a couple extra scenes or goes a little farther than the rated version did. But this "R" version could have aired on network TV! It certainly isn't family viewing, but it's nowhere near "R".

If you want to watch this flick for the plot alone, you'll probably be disappointed there, too. This was the pilot for a series that never materialized, so all the story lines are left hanging in the air; the movie just sort-of ends with no closure to anything. But if you want to watch this for, ahem, reasons other than plot, be sure to find the unrated version! That has to be the version other reviewers were talking about.

No pun intended - being in a safe space and place is always a good thing. Even more so if your job is ... selling yourself. Not sure about the term Ranch, but I reckon that is a way to describe a house that holds women who sell themselves - we all need money after all. And hey they are not cheap, so they may only need to do it for a shorter amount of time then others.

That all being said, the actors are decent (you know I had to) - but only when it comes to their ability to act of course. There is a lot of nudity, which I didn't expect to be honest, but it does make sense. You cannot be sensitive if you plan to watch this ... just be sure that is the case and you'll be good ... a good boy that is ...ok I'll stop right here.

I didn't expect much of this film, but it somehow grabbed my interest and held it for the full length. I admit I was disappointed at the rather abrupt ending; it left the impression that the producers ran out of money, or film. But that being said, it was decently acted, and as another reviewer said, it presented thought-provoking concerns. I found myself rooting for those gals, most of them, which means the film made me care about their lives, and I consider that the mark of good theater.

As to the lack of real sex or actual nudity, I rank that as positive. It gave the expectedly raunchy plot-line a bit of unexpected class. I could better relate to these girls as real people with real issues.

Did you hear about the prostitute who went to confessions and recognized the priest's stuttering voice through the confessional screen as belonging to one of her customers? Probably not because I just made it up. The point is, "The Ranch" is far less creative than that as it takes you into a Nevada ranch-style brothel and a jambalaya of cliches and stereotypes. You'll see all manner of prostitute issues from health issues to security issues to social stigma issues to family issues...yadayadayada. You'll see ample T, some A, and some softcore stuff with plenty of frank sex talk in this dramady which plays out like part bad sitcom and part bad soap opera. What you won't see is originality, creativity, or the real deal. Yuck! (C)

If you want an enticing, fun(ny) insightful, tug at your heartstrings kinda flick to see? See The Ranch! Beautifully shot. Beautiful girls. Beautiful story that leaves you wanting more… Grit laced in hope. Humanity laced in reality… People doing what they have to do… I think Lisa Melamed's poignant story is beautifully directed by Sex In The City's Susan Seidelman. Classic beauty Jessica Collins shares a moment/scene with Nicki Micheaux that is NOT to be missed. Paige Moss delivers a character that disturbs brilliantly. You feel Bonnie Root's character's broken dreams, and Samantha Ferris' simply wanting to be a good parent… All held together with Amy Madigan's nine millimeter! The Ranch is a MUST see!