Boom

Going to the movies is a wholesome experience for me. I look forward to the movie as soon I have my tickets booked. I have certain expectations from the movie and I switch off the outside world along with my cellphone as I settle in to watch the movie. This is how I settled down yesterday evening to watch this movie called Boom. The movie promised to have the elusive right mix of oomph and a real story coupled with good actors and behind it all a director who has been threatening to deliver for a long time. The spin-doctors had given good publicity to the movie by making sure that its every round to the censors was well publicised along with the usual comments on whatever happened to freedom of expression and self-censorship.

The two hours of the movie passed in a whirl and it was difficult for me to conclude on what was worse- the movie or the audience. I for once pitied the censor board who has to see such junk like this in its raw form and then be criticised for censoring parts of the movie. I also came out of the movie with significant additions to my knowledge bank- I got to know, for example, that a bag of cement costs around 100 rupees or so and can be delivered the next day morning if it ordered around 7pm. How I know is because the person next to me was a cement dealer and obviously likes to conduct his business on the phone in a cinema hall when he is not whistling or nudging his partner everytime he saw a bikini on the screen. In addition, if I missed a double meaning dialogue in the movie then I only had to concentrate on the animated conversation behind me to hear it again amid a thousand giggles. With such wholesome entertainment all around me who wants to see the movie.

Not that there was anything in the movie to watch. It's amazing how easily you can go wrong even if you put a bunch of talented actors on screen and some models who can also talk and a woman named Bo Derek thrown in for some more oomph. So much of oomph in that movie that I almost oomphed my way out of the hall! They were traces in the movie that reminded me of Pulp Fiction or even Sex and the City, which are both amazing productions in their own right and if only he had copied them we would have got everything we wanted. But no sir, we are too much into the East meets West syndrome these days. East meets West and takes a dive into the Pacific Ocean never to show itself again. Atleast not in the form of Boom! If this is what fusion of cultures is about I am all for pure breeds. I cannot imagine that I paid money to see a movie like this. I won't see it even if someone offered me money for this. The movie is like an orchestra in action and everything is being played out of tune and what is worse is that you can recognise what they are trying to play and that is driving you even more crazy.

As for the crowd, what can I say, it deserved the movie as much as the movie deserved the crowd. Every show of skin and every raunchy dialogue were greeted with such cheers that you would assume that these women had landed in their laps! All this while cellphones were buzzing in the hall and everybody was talking to everybody else telling them they were sitting in a hall watching a movie- and what's up?

Please go and see this movie and maybe it will help you appreciate how bad movie making can get. Its always nice to see the worst so we can better appreciate the good.

As for the director and producer - BOOM BOOM!!

Good God. My eyes.. they still hurt..after being exposed to this movie. But the pain is mitigated, for my ears hurt even more, after having to listen to some of the most atrocious dialogue ever uttered.

I'd like to consider myself to be fairly tolerant. I managed to sit through Kaante. Mind you, i did not enjoy the debacle in the least, but I could sit through it. Boom is downright repulsive and ridiculous. I walked into the theater with no expectation and still came out traumatized.

I smelt trouble the moment one of the actors appeared on screen and for no rhyme or reason proceeded to say "Tick tock,tick f**king, tock f**king tick" in the most horrendous accent. After that it was all downhill.

Acting - Unbelievable. The three models should be banned from acting. For some reason the director decided that it was best that they all put on weird accents. Almost all the dialogue is spoken in english. Apart from amitabh bachan , i can quite safely state that none of the other actors speak english. All the rest of the actors looked confused most of the time. I honestly can't blame them for being at the mercy of a screwball director.

Dialogue -Downright annoying. Characters say random things, act like imbeciles on crack. The writer seems to be desperately trying to copy Tarantino's writing style. He comes closer to imitating a drunk moron who's vocabulary doesn't exceed the F word. They use F**K generously and randomly. It never even sounds normal at any point, for all of them have such horrendous accents.

Plot - Mind Numbingly bad. It doesnt even pretend to have one. Characters do random things for absolutely no rhyme or reason. Amitabh Bachan throws a female out of a moving car just for the heck of it. Zeenat's role in the movie is even more worse. There are no character arcs. The story is too absurd to be bothered about. To top it off there are plot holes the size of russia.

Overview - The movie is annoying, disgusting, repulsive, childish, inane, moronic, absurd, incoherent, retarded,pointless, boring, embarassing.

Those are its good qualities.

Rating 2/10. What prevents me from giving it a one is the fact that it did have some decent cinematography and production values.

Make no mistakes, its a honest attempt to make avoid run-of-the-mill movie. But somewhere the chord fails to strike in the failed attempt of fashion-meets-underworld.

Kaizad manages to create layers in the movie, however there end up like jigsaw puzzle. And it seems Kaizad was a strict teacher when it comes to following-the-book owing to which its apparent that the actors are mouthing the script akin to animated characters which immediately springs up being artificial.

Big B: I felt his white-hair was a complete bad fashion statement.

Jaggu Dada:: The stoned dialogue delivery was a bad idea.

Gulshan Grover:: Leaves no impact, other than his fantasising of being Bade Miyan.

Javed Jaffery:: His dialogues seemed OTT at a few places otherwise very competent.

Seema Biswas & Zeenat Aman:: No complaints.

The three lasses - well, you are excused.

The grand finale.... well, it was kind of coming, so no suspense there.

Boom was a great concept with a great soundtrack. The publicity was great and of course what a great title. The title track with Ila Arun/Talvin Singh saved some of the film.

It seemed that most of the film was shot in daylight, which already compromises the dramatic quality of the film. The director used master shots with wide lenses, which again compromises drama and character build up. It seemed that the script was so loose that nothing seemed to stick. There were no character arcs and the movie came to an abrupt end. Even if violence and flesh are the idea, there are ways to make it tantalizing and provide for tension. Moreover Kaizad's characters were not believable because he spent little time on each with very limited staging. If a character spends all his time in one room, or doing just one thing, we cannot be too interested in him. What we call 'Emotional Dynamics'.

The motivation was missing, why were the Dons after the models, when they didnt have the Diamonds? The limited locations and bright sunlight really dampened the quality of the film. The only dramatic light was with the Shroff character. The film had tremendous potential and a great concept in the making but I guess they were in hurry to get the film made.

I think Kaizad is a passionate filmmaker who has the guts to break new ground, but in doing that, it is not wise to try and break all the basic rules of story telling.

I think Boom is a very weird film for Bollywood.'cause the Bollywood audience is not ready for a film like this.It contains too much vulgarity. If it had nudity the movie might be accepted 'cause it does have some pretty faces.But even the pretty faces,excellent performer like Amitabh, Jackie, Gulshan & Javaid, and great visuals could not save this Diamond bubble of a movie,which just burst with a BOOM.(Pun Intended).The ending although had a nice twist but was very stupid.An actor like Amitabh shouldn't have signed a movie like this.Jackie looked like he had been watching The Untouchables & Scarface while shooting for this movie.Zeenat Aman had no role to talk of.Bo Derak Was a joke.She was there for even less then 30 seconds.The models acting was like wooden,Xcept Madhu Sapre,who was just passable.So who should see movie ?.Well definitely not the family audiences.Only Die Hard fans of the cast members should see this movie, and even they would feel cheated as the big names have the smaller roles.