MXP: Most Xtreme Primate

In Britain, there is a drink called PG Tips. It's a kind of tea. It's quite nice. I personally enjoy it with a splash of milk and two generous spoonfuls of sugar. During the 90's it was the biggest selling tea in Britain, even outselling the tea conglomerate Typhoo. The reason for this was a clever marketing campaign featuring even cleverer monkeys who read the newspaper and erm, drink tea and stuff. During the 70's, the chimps were taken off the air only to be brought back 18 months later with PG tips facing rapidly declining sales. See? Chimps can do good stuff. In the name of moderniazation and er, animal rights (what's that?), the chimps have again been taken off the air and replaced with claymation bird models. However, clever Hollywood types sat up and took notice. People like monkeys. They look like people! But funnier! Ha Ha! Funny-like-people-monkeys!!!!!! Forcibly and hungrily breast-feeding itself on the PG tips monkey's success comes MXP, where chimps do all the things they were born to do: snowboarding, shaving, cooking and faithfully re-enacting the plots of all the Home Alone movies. This is not a film not to watch because you don't like monkeys. This is not a film not to watch because you are a card carrying member of PETA. This is a film not to watch because you will gnaw your own arm off and wish you were dead. No animals were harmed during the filming. Let us hope the same can not be said of the actors, producer, director and all involved in this sad, sad movie made for (and by) people who like gnawing their arm off and wishing they were dead.

It's no wonder they added the "X" in the title of this sequel to MVP and MVP 2. It has the best monkey shower scene I've ever seen. This monkey nudity only served to make the primate more "human" so I can understand it's inclusion in the film. With out it, it would have been merely a typical animal sports movie in the tradition of Air Bud.

I haven't seen monkeys and humans bond this well, since "Gorillas in the Mist". Not only does the monkey take a shower, but he also brushes his teeth, shave with a razor, plays the drums, plays video games, drinks a frozen drink and gets brain freeze, and oh yeah he snowboards too. What will Jack do next? I for one can't wait. Opposable thumbs way up!!!

Upon first viewing I was surprised by the depth of character the talented monkey-cast presented in MXP3. The simian thespians are present in every scene, emotionally and physically, and impressively match and in some cases surpass the emotional depth of the leading boy of the film, Devin Douglas Drewitz. Young Trip-D, as he likes to be called on set, provides the movie with an obstinately melancholy performance, tantalizing the monkeys' emotional receptors like so many ripe bananas. Trip-D's angst and sorrow, expertly captured by cinematographer Mike Southon, is as palpable and inspirational as his name is alliterative. Sadly, before my much anticipated second viewing, I learned that the primate performers playing the lead role of Jack, as well as his off-set monkey girlfriend playing Lucy (quite the looker if you ask me) are active scientologists. Furthermore, these two donated the majority of their paychecks toward dianetic research. Had I been privy to this information prior to my first viewing, I never, NEVER would have spent 75 dollars on the collectors edition DVD and silver-plated palm frond from the much talked about Mexican restaurant scene.

At the outset, I must warn everyone that I am an avid snowboarder and I have worked with many primates. One thing I can say for sure is that this plot is simply unbelievable.

I have seen the previous two installments of MVP, but this one by far is off the deep end. First, a chimp playing hockey. Yeah, I can see that. Then, a chimp skateboarding. A little less believable, but possible. But a chimp snowboarding? I think we're bordering on ridiculous now.

I've worked with chimps, and certainly, they're intelligent enough to communicate in sign language, and convey their feelings. But snowboarding? What's next in MVP IV, a chimp that can cure cancer? I mean, come on. Let's not forget, that this animal will OFTEN throw its feces at anyone within 50 feet. Sure, I understand that they're trainable, and come off well on the big screen. But snowboarding? Why not have a lawyer show with MVP giving birth to a donkey? At least science makes that a possibility. This just isn't worth it, folks. Unless you'd like to build a stable in your backyard for your unicorns or ride a giraffe to work backwards, then don't watch this movie. It's pure fantasy. I mean, a chimp that snowboards? C'mon.

So the trilogy ends here. Whatta ride! It has been a pleasure. 😓

'MXP: Most Xtreme Primate', in seriousness, is the worst of the three, hardly a surprise I know. Yet again I didn't dislike the time I spent watching this, though there is simply nothing to really praise about it. The story is more mundane than prior installments.

Things aren't helped by the fact that the snowboarding gimmick wears thin quick due to it's near verbatim reproduction of the skateboarding subplot from 'MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate'. The other subplot with the thiefs is quite bad too, these two characters barely feature and yet still manage to whip out two racially insensitive, at best, 'gags'.

The cast are fine, nothing really worth noting. I did notice a young Alexander Ludwig appear for a few seconds though, interesting that these Robert Vince pictures do tend to have a familar face pop up in random spots; Ludwig here, Zendaya (!) in 'Super Buddies'...

This one of the three-part does, at least, have the 'best' end credits, gag reel and canonical amateur garage band included! So long, Jack!