Sexandroide

Sexandroide (1987)

**** (out of 4)

I'm not talented enough of a writer to fully explain that no matter what I say it won't be able to prepare you for this French movie. Three different "acts" are performed with each of them continuing to get stranger and stranger. The first deals with a drunk woman who goes into a bathroom where she begins to bleed from just about every spot on her body due to someone using a voodoo doll. The second story has a creature torturing a woman with needles and then moving to other objects. Finally, a sexy woman performs a sexual dance for a vampire.

SEXANDROIDE comes from director Michel Ricaud and it's without a doubt one of the strangest and most bizarre movies you're ever going to see. I can't possibly go into details about how crazy and nutty this movie gets because during all three stories you keep telling yourself that you're not going to see anything weirder and yet it happens. The first story is extremely strong because of the way it cuts from the woman bleeding to the man putting holes through the voodoo doll. The way this is handled is extremely effective and will have your stomach tied up in knots.

The second story is just as powerful and especially with the needle piercing, which goes through the woman's nipples but then they take it to another level with them going through her tongue and breasts. I'm not going to sit here and say that I know if it was real or if it was staged but it had me convinced that everything I was watching was real and this woman was being tortured. The third and final act is extremely sexy as the woman you're watching is quite beautiful but that bizarre feeling is still all over the place.

SEXANDROIDE is hard to watch at times but it's impossible to turn away from it. It's a gross art-house picture that is actually extremely well-made and it gets all the graphic parts through in such detail that you can't help but also be turned off. There's certainly not another movie out there like it, at least from what I've seen and perhaps that's a good thing?

All I can say about SEXANDROIDE is...WTF?!?!?!? This is honestly one of THE STRANGEST films I've ever seen, and that's sayin' a lot. Since I don't know any factual details about the film, I'll give you my interpretation: SEXANDROIDE is a short "anthology"-style film. It's done in a "performance-art" style - much like watching a video of a play. It appears that the intention of the film was to mimic the "Grand Guignol" theater style performances that were popular in France in the late 1890's - 1960's. SEXANDROIDE looks just like something that I would expect to have seen on one of the stages in Paris - but with a more modern twist.

Act 1 is an intriguing little number about a drunk broad at a bar. Someone doesn't like this chick, because while she's sitting and enjoying a few cocktails, a man that we never fully see is making a voodoo doll of our poor pub-patron. Home-girl obviously had one too many and goes to the bathroom to puke. At this point Unknown-Man starts "playing" with his voodoo doll. First he rips it's clothes off - which is duplicated hilariously to our "heroine" in the bathroom. Next he stabs the doll in various places including her eyes, tits, and of course her vagina - which are all then interpreted physically to Drunk-Lady. He cuts the doll's throat, burns it's face, and hangs it - again, all which is then transferred to Drunk-Lady. END OF ACT 1.

Act 2 has a gothy looking chick descending some "creepy" stairs into a dungeon. She snoops around for a little bit and then some freak dressed in black with a hood covering his head shows up. Goth-chick is startled, and shoots the hooded guy several times. He lays there for a minute, then gets up and leaves (?!?). Once he's gone, Goth-chick strips and does a really ridiculous dance. Then she grabs a whip and starts flogging herself. Hood-man comes back and is pretty turned on by Goth-chick's little show. He pulls his mask off and reveals that he's some sort of really poorly made-up ghoul-thing. Now for the fun stuff...Ghoul-Man handcuffs Goth-chick to a chair and starts torturing her. He starts by piercing her nipples multiple times (which I'm pretty sure is real). When that's not enough, he takes a lllloooonnnnggg needle and runs it through the skin on the underside of her breast(note: I watched this film with my girl, she thinks this scene was faked, I think it was real - guess you'll have to decide for yourself if any of you decide to pick this one up...). He then takes a knife and cuts her face several times - then he hacks his own arm with the knife in cheesy-magician fashion. Next, he graphically stabs one of her eyes out (which was apparently a "staple scene" of the traditional Grand Guignol theater...), then stabs her in the chest. Ghoul-Man then stabs himself in the stomach and pulls his guts out. They lay together on the ground for a while, then they both get up, Ghoul-Man gives Goth-Chick a rose, and they both walk back upstairs (?!?!?!?!). END OF ACT 2. This one was sufficiently gory and sleazy, and plays like a mix of FLOWERS OF FLESH AND BLOOD meets THE WIZARD OF GORE on 14 hits of acid...

Now for the absolute STRANGENESS that is Act 3. A heavily made-up guy is laying in a coffin. A pretty hot chick in "mourning" attire comes in to look at the dead guy. Coffin-guy (who turns out to be a vampire...) wakes up, gets out of the coffin, and starts groping Hot-mourner. He then "violently" tears all her clothes off (in pretty hilarious fashion, as you can tell that she's trying to help him with her tights because the Vampire is having some trouble with them...), and bites her on the neck. Vampire goes back and lays in his coffin - Hot-Mourner appears to be dead...or is she???...When Hot-Mourner get's back up, she's wearing ridiculous vampire make-up and some fake dollar store fangs. She then starts doing a ridiculous dance (that looks like something that you would see in a low-rent strip-club in West Virginia - but this chick's hotter than most you would see up there...) to TINA TURNER MUSIC !!!???!!!. OK...stop tape people...this has officially become one of, if not THE strangest thing I've ever seen on film. The crazy make-up Mourner chick doing a stripper dance to Tina Turner music is so unexpected that I almost spit my mouthful of cheap bourbon all over my girlfriend. Don't believe me? Ask her or track this one down for yourself...anyway...After dancing to not one, but TWO Tina Turner joints, our Hot-Mourner-Turned-Vampire-Turned-Stripper climbs into the coffin with Vampire-man and dry humps him for a little bit. I guess the Count gets tired of us watching, and hangs a "do not disturb" sign on the side of his coffin and shuts the lid. END OF ACT 3.

First off, I'm not sure that my above descriptions really do justice to just how strange and entertaining this Z-grade "masterpiece" really is. SEXANDROIDE has absolutely everything that you could want from this sort of production - "interesting" story lines, tons of gore and nudity, and NAKED TINA TURNER DANCING!!! I honestly hadn't seen such inept stripping since the last time I was in Tijuana. All three ACTS showed originality, some good gore FX (in the case of the first 2...), and lots of gratuitous full-frontal in all three episodes. I really enjoyed the hell out of this one. Total schlock at it's "finest" that will probably only really appeal to exploit/gore fans. This one reminded me of an H.G. Lewis film if it was done in the 80's as a play - and with NAKED TINA TURNER DANCING!!! (sorry, just can't get over that part...). 9/10 from me on just a straight enjoyment level. Most others will think it's trash.

Sexandroide, the discussion is on of this movie is French or from Belgium. No one knows but what the heck. It duration is almost an hour and 3 stories are told, well, shown, because no story has lyrics. Story one involves some voodoo done on a doll that's performed with a picture. Of course the girl on the picture gets what the voodoo dolly gets, simple as that, but first she had to get naked. A bit of blood, no gore. Second story, some demon a crossing between Frankenstein and The Phantom of the Opera and a girl performing black magic, naturally the girl has to undress and is being tortured by the demon, but here comes the fun part and the main reason why this is hunt after this flick. The girl first got pearced in her nipples and i can tell you, no tricks. After wards her tongue got pierced and then her breasts. But it goes weirder and weirder and is extremely violent and gory. The third storyline is just a girl visiting a coffin, but the dead one is Dracula, he bites her and she strips naked and performs an erotic dance on off all names Tina Turner! The tree stories are soft erotic, even when the third girl spreads it nothing is shown because her full bush. So if you are into gore and naked lasses, then this is your treat but hey, no official release yet and hard to get.

"Sexandroide" is an extremely strange soft core porno/S&M horror which is literally splashed with gore.It simply has to be seen to be believed.The previous reviewers described well the plot of "Sexandroide", so I won't bother doing it again.However the second short which features a naked woman who suffers torture at the hands of zombie is a must-see for splatter fans.She has her nipples pierced and is gorily stabbed in one of her eyes resulting in gouging it out.The third short is truly weird as it involves a naked vampire woman dancing near the coffin of the vampire to Tina Turner music.I laughed like crazy during this episode.So if you enjoy watching gore and nudity you can't go wrong with this piece of ultra-weirdness.The film is also known under the titles of "Les Sexandroides" and "La Dagy de Les Sexandroides".

France is a nation long at the forefront of things that are awesome. De Sade, Bataille, Sartre, Rollin, one could make a long list. But for todays purposes, lets talk Grand Guignol. A Parisian theatrical movement founded in the late 19th century which continued until the early 1960's, it served to horrify theatre goers with its gross displays of up front and gruesome gore. Performances usually involved two or more short plays run back to back, and audience member were said to variously faint or even throw up. In other words, a great success. I'm not entirely sure why the movement faded out when it did, perhaps two world wars and general cultural change were the reason but I like to think that one of the writers saw Blood Feast and promptly decided "Screw it, we've been beaten by the best". Or whatever the French equivalent would be, probably involving the word merde. Fortunately the spirit of Grand Guignol did not entirely die, instead one Michel Ricaud brought it to cinematic life in the 80's, mot glorious of decades. Sexandroide thusly is a set of three tales, lasting just under an hour in duration and delivering quite the mighty blast of sex and gore. First up a lady at a bar falls afoul of a villain with a voodoo doll and her photo. Next we have a goth chick meet a ghoul, with impressively horrific consequences and finally a lady and a vampire result in bizarre amusement. To say more would be to spoil the fun (besides others here have detailed events). Though none of the segments have any real plotting the insanity levels are high and by and large I think it best to see such fare with a clean slate. Suffice to say that the first section is something of a warm up, the middle contains some very nasty fare including some violence that looks rather too real to not be real, and the finale has (probably unlicensed) use of a classic pop tune that will have many viewers laughing out loud. Production values are generally porno standard, though Ricaud does muster occasional visual style, particularly when dealing with the voodoo doll man, using his shadow and shots of his hands and arms rather than dealing with him head on. The gore is nasty, it is more HG Lewis than real a lot of the time, but the mean edge gives it a real kick and best of all, the violence is entirely inflicted upon nude or near nude women. This is probably morally indefensible, but I don't have any problems with eroticised torture in cinema so it didn't bother me. I was more peeved by the fact that despite the title, there are no androids in the film at any point. Seems like a deliberate misnomer, whats up with that? Basically, if you like nudity, torture and utter lunacy this is the film for you. If you don't like these things, stay far, far away. Gets a hugely satisfied 8/10 from me though, job well done.