Jack Nicholson credited as playing...
Harry Sanborn
- Harry Sanborn: Some people consider rap poetry.
- Erica Barry: C'mon, how many words can you rhyme with bitch?
- Erica Barry: [Harry walks in, with her naked] Ahh!
- Harry: [Seeing Erica] Oh! Oh.
- Erica Barry: No! STOP!
- Harry: OH! OOH!
- Erica Barry: [Walking behind the door] AAHH! STOP!
- Harry: [Hits a wall full of pictures, covering his eyes partly] Oh, I'm sorry! Oh, God, am I sorry?
- Erica Barry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- Harry: I'm sorry! I didn't see anything. Except maybe a few tits!
- [Diane screams and runs away]
- Harry: I've never seen a woman that age naked before.
- Julian Mercer: You're kidding.
- Harry: Hey! We're not all doctors, baby.
- Erica Barry: I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't great.
- Harry: Let's just calm down. I had these plans before I even met you. I mean, I do like seeing you. I do.
- Erica Barry: [scoff] Yeah.
- Harry: I'm always surprised by it.
- Erica Barry: Surprised by it? What was I thinking?
- Harry: I have never lied to you. I have always told you some version of the truth.
- Erica Barry: The truth doesn't have versions, okay?
- Harry: Will you cut me a little slack? My life has just been turned upside down.
- Erica Barry: Mine too!
- Harry: Well, then let's just each get our bearings.
- Erica Barry: I don't want my bearings. I've had my bearings my whole goddamn life. I feel something with you I never really knew existed. Do you know what that's like, after a 20-year marriage to feel something for another person that is so...? That... Oh, Right. Right. Not your problem. God. Do you know that I've written this, but I never really got it? Do you know what this is?
- Harry: No.
- Erica Barry: [Erica kisses Harry] This is heartbroken. How's that for impervious.
- Harry: You're killing me.
- Erica Barry: I just wish that it had lasted more than a week.
- Harry: Me too.
- Erica Barry: That is a terrible thing to say. You know, the life I had before you I knew how to do that. I could do that forever. But now look at me. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do with all this?
- Harry: Erica. Can you wait just a second? The truth is, I... I just... I don't know how to be a boyfriend.
- Erica Barry: That's what you have to say after all of this? That you don't know how to be a boyfriend?
- Harry: That's not a small thing.
- Erica Barry: [shakes head] Are we done?
- Harry: I don't know.
- Erica Barry: Oh, my God.
- [Erica gets in taxi and drives away]
- Harry Sanborn: I love ya.
- Erica Barry: Well, I love you too! If that's what you said. I don't know if it ends in a 'ya' if it's a true 'I love you.'
- Harry Sanborn: You're not like anybody.
- Harry Sanborn: I think I'm entering into another phase with this thing. I'm mad at you.
- Erica Barry: I think I'm mad at you too.
- Harry Sanborn: Good, because I don't LIKE thinking about you all the time and worrying about how you are...
- Erica Barry: You... worry about ME?
- Harry Sanborn: Yes, honey. The schmuck, who deserves to die, worries about you. Sometimes worrying about you feels like a full-time job.
- Erica Barry: Well I'm doing just fine, so you don't have to work that shift anymore!
- Harry: [to a madly irritated Erica] I don't think I've ever had this effect on a woman before.
- Erica Barry: What effect do you think you're having on me?
- Harry: I don't quite recognize it. That's how I know I never had it before.
- Marin: Harry was once engaged to Diane Sawyer.
- Zoe: Diane Sawyer? No way, I love her!
- Erica Barry: That's wonderful!
- Harry: Women your age love that about me.
- Erica Barry: Ah.
- Harry: No, that's a good thing.
- Erica Barry: I'm sure you meant it as a compliment.
- Harry: Yes, it was meant as a compliment.
- Erica Barry: What are you doing here, Harry?
- Harry: Turns out the heartattack was easy to get over. You... were something else. I finally get it. I'm 63 years old... and I'm in love for the first time in my life.
- Harry: Oh. *Her*. She is a *major* piece of work. Doc, the woman wears turtlenecks in the middle of summer: she's *beyond* uptight. Almost makes her fun to be around.
- Julian Mercer: Uptight. That's funny, I haven't noticed that.
- Harry: Try living with her.
- Harry: I'm dating your daughter, Marin. She invited me here for the weekend. She is in her room right now changing.
- Erica Barry: Aah! You're dating my daughter?
- Harry: Now who would have thought that would be worst news?