David Wenham credited as playing...
Carl
- Carl: [while stocking Van Helsing's kit for the trip to Transylvania] I don't know. You could blind your enemies, char-broil a herd of chargind wildebeests - use your imagination.
- Van Helsing: No, I'm going to use yours - you're coming with me.
- Carl: Oh, to hell and be damned I am!
- Van Helsing: Carl, you just cursed! Not well mind you but you're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all.
- Carl: Actually I'm just a friar so I can curse all I want... dammit!
- Carl: Why does it smell like wet dog in here?
- Van Helsing: [running past him] Werewolf!
- Carl: Oh! You'll be needing silver bullets then.
- [he produces a box of bullets and throws them to Van Helsing, rather deftly]
- Van Helsing: Well done!
- Carl: So you can remember everything about your life from the last seven years, but nothing before that?
- Van Helsing: Not now, Carl.
- Carl: There must be something?
- Van Helsing: [dead serious] I remember fighting the Romans at Masada.
- Carl: That was in 73 A.D.
- Van Helsing: You asked.
- Van Helsing: Now, Carl, whatever you do, don't stare at him.
- [he opens the coach door, revealing the Frankenstein Monster shackled into the seat, struggling and snarling]
- Carl: I'm staring at him.
- [quickly turns away]
- Carl: Is that a man?
- Van Helsing: Actually, it's seven men. Parts of them, anyway.
- Carl: Now, you won't turn into a werewolf until your first full moon. That's two days from now. So we have 48 hours to find a solution. But you'll still be able to fight Dracula's hold over you until the final stroke of midnight.
- Van Helsing: Sounds like I have nothing to worry about.
- Carl: Oh, my God, you should be terrified!
- Van Helsing: Thank you.
- Carl: Sorry.
- Carl: [translating language on a painting] Even a man who is pure in heart, and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the moon is full and bright. Or crave anothers blood when the sun goes down, and his body takes to flight.
- Carl: Here, take this.
- [he hands Van Helsing a bag, then begins to fill it]
- Carl: Rings of garlic... holy water... silver stake... crucifix...
- [they pass two monks test-firing a Gatling gun]
- Van Helsing: Why can't I have one of those?
- Frankenstein's Monster: [hanging from a rope] Help! Help me!
- Carl: But you're supposed to die!
- Frankenstein's Monster: I want to live!
- Carl: ...All right.
- Carl: [about his invention] I know what it's for! I know what it's for!... Where are we going?
- Van Helsing, Anna Valerious: Through that window!
- [Van Helsing and Anna are both hanging off the sides of the carriage, hanging over the cliff. While the Monster is chained in his seat, Carl starts to pull Anna in, but Van Helsing's grip starts to fail]
- Frankenstein's Monster: I can help!
- Carl: You won't kill me?
- Frankenstein's Monster: Only if you don't hurry!
- [approaching the entrance to Castle Dracula]
- Carl: Do we have a plan? I mean, it doesn't have to be Wellington's at Waterloo, but some kind of plan would be nice.
- Van Helsing: We're going to go in there and stop Dracula.
- Anna Valerious: And kill anyone who gets in our way.
- Carl: [quickly turns around] Well, you let me know how that goes...
- [Dracula's minions have taken all of Frankenstein's equipment to castle Dracula]
- Anna Valerious: Then we've lost.
- Carl: Dracula can't bring them to life until the sun sets. We still have time.
- Anna Valerious: "Time"? The sun sets in two hours, and we've been searching for his lair for over 400 years!
- Carl: I wasn't around for those 400 years, was I?
- [Van Helsing and Carl break into a mausoleum to hide the unconscious Monster]
- Carl: I'm sure this is some kind of sin.
- Van Helsing: Don't worry, God will forgive us.
- Carl: What are we doing here? Why is it so important to kill this Dracula anyway?
- Van Helsing: Because he's the son of the devil.
- Carl: I mean besides that.
- Van Helsing: Because if we kill him, anything bitten by him or created will also die.
- Carl: I mean besides that.