Gladiatress

The girls of UK comedy TV show "Smack The Pony" take on the "Gladiator" story- like an answer to the lads of "Spaced" doing "Shaun Of The Dead" (except that "Gladiatress" was filmed at the same time, or possibly even first?) It's a real shame that this film got overlooked, and possibly even buried, in the shadow of "Shaun Of The Dead" as it's a funny film in it's own right. There are a lot of parallels in the style between the two films though. For a start, I was falling off my seat with laughter in both films.

Like "Shaun..", a lot of the jokes wouldn't be funny if you had only ever seen them written down- a lot of the real comedy is in the delivery. For example the line "I don't even know where Rome is... s***..."- dull written down but laugh-out-loud when you hear Sally Phillips saying it. Also like "Shaun..", it's really vulgar in parts but never too much, and even though you don't expect to, by the end you're empathising with characters you thought at the beginning of the film you couldn't possibly like.

My only criticisms would be that the first ten minutes are a bit shaky- which might explain why this film has got some poor reviews, as it doesn't leave a good first impression. Also, Doon Mackichan is, surprisingly, a bit weak through some parts of the movie, which is a shame as Fiona Allen and Sally Phillips are on top form. Oh, and the tag-line "does my Gluteus Maximus look big in this?" isn't funny, and it under-sells the film. But these are all minor points, and don't really detract from the entertainment.

The reviewer who commented on the "odd feminism" in the film has, in my opinion, firmly grabbed the wrong end of his stick (or has problems listening to women as equals). If he was expecting a sexy women-in-leather soft porn, this film happily isn't that. It isn't a chick-flick either- you don't have to be one gender or the other to laugh at this film.

In a nutshell, if you liked "Shaun Of The Dead", and/or "Smack The Pony" on TV, this is worth hunting down a copy of. I eventually had to get a legitimate DVD copy from the Netherlands in order to see it- this film is too good to go unnoticed!

Ok, come on - it's not so very, very bad... Yes, the jokes are pretty puerile and the acting leaves quite a lot to be desired, but isn't this just running with the baton well established by the equally tarnished "Carry On" films - only, to be fair, without quite the same degree of sexist and banal innuendo? The plot is nonsense, but that doesn't really matter - it's meant to be a light-hearted role-reversal film where the stereotypes are reversed and it is the women who have the brains to defeat the encroaching Roman Legions invading Celtic Britain back in the day when togas and face painting were not just things on a Christian Lacroix catwalk. It clearly had a tiny budget, none of which was spent on a decent script, and you just know you are never going to get this 90 minutes of your life back again, but the character names are mildly amusing and the cast - especially Marcia Warren and Pam Ferris seem to be having a laugh too - with or at is anyone's guess. Rubbish, yes - but it's British rubbish...

It's funny how people apparently either hate or love this movie. Every user comment either gives it a "1" rating or above a "7" - it's a good thing we have the average, then, which in this case for once is actually very accurate: this movie is worth about a "4".

It has funny elements, though not many for a movie that's supposed to be a comedy. The portrayal of Celtic-Britannic culture (incl. some Picts) is entertaining and even a little educational, and the movie's main strength lies in its realistic portrayal of what would happen to someone who tried to rescue a family member from being kidnapped by the Romans: she becomes a slave herself.

The funniest thing about the movie is probably the way we have Worthaboutapig crossing the English channel and then instantly thinking that the Roman colony she finds there ("Boulogne" = Paris) is actually Rome itself. For some ignorant clan member who's never been to the continent before, and certainly never seen the capital of a major civilization (to say nothing of a map), that's actually extremely realistic. And the anachronistic line "When in Rome...!" just has that extra little punch, when we know that she isn't actually in Rome after all.

There are a bunch of details to like in this movie - the production values, for instance, and that terrifically nonchalant German gladiator, Schlaffwaffe -, but it's just not funny enough, overall. It's too understated, has very few scenes approaching the memorable, and just strikes me as too self-indulgent. Fart and crotch jokes abound, which are tasteless and unfunny. The characters are cardboards. As a whole the movie is a disappointment, but at least it marginally holds your interest throughout. That, at least, is something.

Great British Humour. Under rated to the Maximus.

I think this movie is hilarious. If you're well versed in History or the Roman Empire, you will get a good laugh out of this.

Gladiatress starts of as a typical British comedy, of the likes I haven't seen since Monty Python.

It's set in Britain, around the fall of the Gaul's and Caesars' interest in Britain grows. As he investigates further, he hears warrior princesses run Britain. He has to see this!! So, the story focuses on a little British tribe with pathetic men and Warrior women as leaders. Great show for you women out there. The story centers around 3 sisters, "Dwyfuc" the princess warrior of the tribe, "Worthaboutapig" who's worth about a pig, not less than a pig!! And "Smirgut the Fierce" who's loosing her fierceness because of childbirth.

When the Romans kidnap "Dwyfuc", her sister "Worthaboutapig" gets chosen to get her back. When "Smirgut the Fierce" helps her, there adventures land all 3 sisters in the gladiator ring facing "Schlaffwaffe The Goth". From there the plot just thickens!!

On the video cover, there's a back view of a girl in a short Roman skirt, and some text which says, "Does my Gluteus Meximus look big in this?"

That one costume, and that one joke, is better than anything in the entire movie. I swear, it made me wonder of it's so much to ask that watching a movie be at least as entertaining as looking at the cover.

All the women, even in the actual arena, are fully clothed in baggy fur. The sets are obviously cheep, jokes are just bad, it seems to have been made by people who don't know anything about movies.

There's one good scene;

In this movie the Tpits are depicted as always wearing severed rotting human heads around their necks like necklaces. In one scene the 3 (three) main characters are disguising themselves as 2 (two) Tpits. The first one has an actual head around her neck, but the second one has the third one standing inside her clothes pretending to be a severed head.

I recommend instead;

The Arena

Sparticus

Monty Python's Holy grail