Emily Browning credited as playing...
Violet
- Violet Baudelaire: It's the letter! The letter that never came!
- [reading]
- Violet Baudelaire: 'Dearest children - since we've been abroad we have missed you all so much. Certain events have compelled us to extend our travels. One day, when you're older, you will learn all about the people we have befriended and the dangers we have faced. At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey. We hope to have you back in our arms soon, darlings, but in case this letter arrives before our return, know that we love you. It fills us with pride to know that no matter what happens in this life, that you three will take care of each other, with kindness and bravery and selflessness, as you always have. And remember one thing, my darlings, and never forget it: that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family. And you are home.'
- Violet Baudelaire: Dinner is served. Puttanesca.
- Count Olaf: What did you call me?
- Klaus Baudelaire: It's pasta... Pasta Puttanesca.
- Count Olaf: Where's the roast beef?
- Klaus Baudelaire: Roast beef?
- Count Olaf: Beef, yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted!
- Count Olaf: [meeting the children for the first time] Ah! My dear...
- [looks at stick figures of children with names on his hands]
- Count Olaf: Violet. Enchantée!
- Violet Baudelaire: Uh... how do you do?
- Count Olaf: And this must be Klaus! Young Klaus! Your left side is the good one.
- [looks with disgust at Sunny]
- Count Olaf: And... what is *this*?
- Sunny: [subtitled baby talk] I'm Sunny!
- Count Olaf: I'm sorry. I don't speak monkey.
- Klaus Baudelaire: Aunt Josephine?
- Violet Baudelaire: Never heard of her.
- Klaus Baudelaire: Doesn't it strike you odd that none of our relatives are related to us?
- [the Baudelaires are making Pasta Puttanesca]
- Violet Baudelaire: Sunny, how's that pot coming?
- [Sunny appears with a spitoon]
- Sunny: [subtitled] Voila!
- Klaus Baudelaire: Uh ,Sunny, that's not a pot. That's a spitoon.
- Violet Baudelaire: A spitoon? You mean like...?
- Klaus Baudelaire: [nods in disgust]
- Violet Baudelaire: We'll wash it twice.
- Count Olaf: ...And I realized I have been a bit standoffish, Shall we say. Which in this case is a big, big word meaning...
- Violet Baudelaire: [interrupting] Pure evil.
- Count Olaf: Why aren't you orphans in the kitchen preparing dinner?
- Violet Baudelaire: Dinner?
- Count Olaf: It's the French word for the evening meal.
- Mr. Poe: ...So I'm taking you to live with your dear Count Olaf, who resides right here in the city just 37 blocks away.
- Klaus Baudelaire: I don't think that's what "closest" is supposed to mean.
- Violet Baudelaire: We don't know a Count Olaf.
- Mr. Poe: Yes, yes, of course you do. He's either your third cousin four times removed or your forth cousin three times removed.
- Sunny: [subtitled baby talk] Someone's BRAIN'S been removed!
- Violet Baudelaire: Sunny!
- Violet Baudelaire: [points to the bobble head "Little Elf" in the rear window of the car] Sunny - bite the head off of that elf!
- Sunny: [subtitled baby talk] Love to!
- Klaus Baudelaire: How could they do this to us?
- Violet Baudelaire: They're just bad people...
- Klaus Baudelaire: Not them. Mom and Dad.
- Violet Baudelaire: Klaus!
- Klaus Baudelaire: Violet, you're thinking it too! How could they? Did they have no plan for us at all?
- Violet Baudelaire: Maybe... maybe they did have a plan.
- Klaus Baudelaire: [sarcastically] Sure looks like it to me.
- Violet Baudelaire: On three, we're gonna break that beam.
- Klaus Baudelaire: Break it?
- Violet Baudelaire: Yes.
- Klaus Baudelaire: But that's the only thing keeping us up.
- Violet Baudelaire: Exactly.
- Klaus Baudelaire: Are you sure you tied your hair tight enough?
- Aunt Josephine: Where's your brother?
- Violet Baudelaire: Kitchen.
- Aunt Josephine: Klaus! What are you doing?
- Klaus Baudelaire: Napkins.
- Aunt Josephine: Napkins. Oh, napkins are here. Come away from the fridge. If it falls it'll crush you flat.
- Klaus Baudelaire: [backstage after Count Olaf has revealed his plan to marry Violet otherwise he'll kill Sunny] No... you're not going to go through with this?
- Violet Baudelaire: I have to.
- Klaus Baudelaire: No come on! There's always something! There's always something.
- Violet Baudelaire: Not this time.
- Klaus Baudelaire: But...
- Violet Baudelaire: Go, Klaus.
- Klaus Baudelaire: Violet...
- Violet Baudelaire: Go!
- Violet Baudelaire: Do you remember when Mum and Dad went to Europe, and we thought they'd abandoned us because they didn't even write? And then we found out they'd written a long letter and it had just gotten lost in the mail. Do you remember how guilty we felt for thinking bad thoughts about them? This is just like that.
- Klaus Baudelaire: No it's not.
- Violet Baudelaire: Why?
- Klaus Baudelaire: Because they're not in Europe. They're not coming back
- [after telling the children how Ike died]
- Aunt Josephine: Oh, God, I hate it here.
- Violet Baudelaire: Well, Aunt Josephine, have you ever thought of, maybe, moving someplace else? Maybe, if you moved away from Lake Lachrymose, you might feel better.
- Aunt Josephine: Oh, I could never, never, never, never sell this house.
- [pause]
- Aunt Josephine: I'm terrified of realtors.
- Lemony Snicket: There are two kinds of fears. Rational and irrational. Being afraid of realtors is an irrational fear.
- [in a flashback]
- Realtor: [shows her card to a tentative Josephine] Is this a bad time?
- Aunt Josephine: [screams at the top of her lungs]
- [in the present]
- Klaus Baudelaire: [to Violet] We gotta get her out of the house.
- Aunt Josephine: I hate it here.
- Violet Baudelaire: Well, maybe, Aunt Josephine, you should think about moving.
- Aunt Josephine: Oh, I could never, ever sell this house.
- [pause]
- Aunt Josephine: I'm terrified of realtors.
- [flashback]
- Realtor: Is this a bad time?
- Aunt Josephine: Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
- Klaus Baudelaire: We have to go to the authorities!
- Violet Baudelaire: No.
- Klaus Baudelaire: What?
- Violet Baudelaire: They won't listen. They never listen! We have to find Aunt Josephine - by ourselves.
- Klaus Baudelaire: That's the Two-Headed Cobra!
- Uncle Monty: Well spotted!
- Violet Baudelaire: Is that a he or a she?
- Uncle Monty: I have no idea! I didn't think it polite to ask.