Neil Patrick Harris credited as playing...
- Barney: It's gonna be legen... wait for it... dary!
- Barney: Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro-I'm Broda!
- Barney: It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!
- Barney: Ted, tonight we're gonna go out. We're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be *legendary*. Phone-five!
- [slaps cell-phone]
- Barney: You didn't phone-five, did you?
- [pause]
- Barney: I know when you don't phone-five Ted.
- Lily: [Lily sees Barney hitting on Claudia] Oh, hell. No!
- [grabs Barney by the ear and yanks him away from Claudia]
- Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard until your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.
- Barney: [confused] Wait... my eyes? Or my testicles?
- Lily: [pause, thinks about it] One of each!
- Ted: I'm gonna do what that guy couldn't, I'm gonna take the plunge... Well, I guess that's not a perfect metaphor since... for me it's falling in love and for him it's... death.
- Barney: Actually, that is a perfect metaphor.
- Ted: So, who are we picking up?
- Barney: I dunno... her? Or maybe her...
- Ted: Wait, so when you said we were going to pick someone up at the airport, you meant we were going to *pick someone up* at the airport?
- Barney: Yeah...
- Ted: You're kidding!
- Barney: False!
- [repeated line]
- Barney: Challenge accepted!
- Barney: It's going to be legendary!
- Ted: Don't say that! You're too liberal with the word "legendary".
- [flashback to Barney standing at Ted's door in snow gear with a shovel]
- Barney: We're building an igloo in Central Park! It's going to be legendary! Snow-suit up!
- Barney: Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I'm teaching you how to do, do, do.
- Marshall: Doo-doo!
- [laughs]
- Barney: [chuckles] Totally.
- Barney: Moist.
- [repeated during Barney's play to get back at Lily]
- Ted: Hey Barney, see that girl?
- Barney: Ohhh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty!
- Ted: Can we maybe scoop stuffing for a while?
- Barney: You wanna scoop stuffing on your first day?
- [sarcastically makes phone with his hands and holds it to his ear]
- Barney: Hello, NFL, can I be quarterback next Sunday?
- Barney: What's that? Self five? Nice! We out!
- Barney: What's that left hand? Right hand suck? Word!
- Barney: i request the highest of five!
