Apparently, this was based on a free, obscure Flash game created in 1998 and for some reason, the creators thought it had potential for a movie almost ten years later. They couldn't have been more wrong, because the result was one of the worst computer-animated Christmas movies of all time.
Here's the story: Pirate siblings, Santa (Joe Alaskey) and Dingle (Tom Kenny), make a living stealing and selling toys aboard their ship. Soon, though, they are mutinied and thrown overboard. After winding up at the North Pole, the brothers plan to steal and sell all the toys the elves there have made. Eventually though, Santa has a change of heart and becomes the jolly old St. Nick we know and love, while Dingle unsurprisingly seeks to overthrow his brother and take over Christmas. So now, the two siblings compete in an Elf bowling match, the winner which will be the head of the holidays.
Admittingly, on paper, the plot sounded interesting and had potential. The idea of Santa Claus starting off as a bad guy, then gradually learning the importance of giving and bringing joy to the world until he becomes the figure of Christmas and might have worked if handled properly. But instead, the creators ruined it all when they chose to mix it with "Elf Bowling". And ironically, there isn't even that much bowling involved in the film. It's just a plot device to invoke the final showdown between Santa and Dingle.
Granted, I've seen worse animation in "Sir Billi" and "Foodfight!", both released later in 2012, but it still sucked here and looked about ten years out of date. The character models all had shoddy and ugly designs, poorly textured faces that looked as though their skin was made of wax, and their movements were jerky and erratic. The Elves looked the worst with their small beady eyes, oversized cheekbones, and huge pointy noses; they reminded me of Tingle from the Legend of Zelda.
The dialogue is boring and disgusting, with lines like: "Who pooped in the peanut butter?". And there's way too much innuendo for kids to be watching this, like: "Brother, you keep your hot strudel in your pants." Plus, despite a notable voice cast being involved, all the voice acting and singing was annoying. I guess they spent most of the budget hiring Tom Kenny to lend his voice, but all we hear is him using a slightly altered Patchy the Pirate voice for Dingle.
I can't believe it cost $6.5 million to make this, because in the end, this was just a humorless, poorly made, 80-minute-long mess based on a flash game long forgotten. It had no redeeming qualities and no Christmas charm or spirit to speak of. Except for "The Christmas Light" and "Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa", this was the crappiest computer animated Christmas movie I've ever seen, and I'm irritated that I wasted my time watching it, even just to review it as a warning for others.
