Dominic Cooper: Dakin

The History Boys

Dakin

Timms: You've got crap handwriting, sir!
Tom Irwin: It's your eyesight that's bad, and we know what that's caused by.
Timms: Sir! Is that a coded reference to the mythical dangers of self-abuse?
Tom Irwin: Possibly. It might even be a joke.
Dakin: A joke, sir. Oh. Are jokes going to be a feature, sir? We need to know as it affects our mindset.

Dakin: I just wanted to say thank you.
Scripps: So? Give him a subscription to The Spectator or a box of Black Magic. Just because you've got a scholarship doesn't mean you've got to give him unfettered access to your dick.

Dakin: Don't think we're shocked by your mentioning the word "foreskin," sir.
Crowther: No, sir. Some of us even have them.
Lockwood: Not Posner though, 'cause he's, well, Jewish. It's one of several things he doesn't have.
Posner: Fuck off.
Lockwood: That's not racist, though.
Crowther: No?
Lockwood: It's race-related... but not racist.

[Dakin is groping Fiona, using World War I as a metaphor for his "assault" on her body. He moves his hand up her thighs but she pushes it away]
Dakin: What's the matter?
Fiona: No-man's land.
Dakin: Ah, fuck. What do I do with this?
[he points to his erection]
Fiona: Carry out a controlled explosion?

Dakin: I'm just kicking the tyres on this one but, further to the drink, what I was really wondering was whether there were any circumstances in which there was any chance of your sucking me off... Or something similar... Actually, that would please Hector.
Tom Irwin: What?
Dakin: "Your sucking me off". It's a gerund. He likes gerunds. And "your being scared shitless", that's another gerund.

Dakin: How do you think history happens?
Tom Irwin: What?
Dakin: How does stuff happen, do you think? People decide to do stuff. Make moves. Alter things.
Tom Irwin: I'm not sure what you're talking about.
Dakin: No? Think about it.
Tom Irwin: Some do... make moves, I suppose. Others react to events. In 1939 Hitler made a move on Poland. Poland defended itself.
Dakin: ...gave in.
Tom Irwin: Is that what you mean?
Dakin: No. Not Poland anyway. Was Poland taken by surprise?
Tom Irwin: To some extent. Though they knew something was up.

Dakin: Next week? Get this man - "You can suck me off next week"! I've heard of a busy schedule but this is ridiculous. God, we've got a long way to go. Do you ever take your glasses off?
Tom Irwin: Why?
Dakin: It's a start.
Tom Irwin: Not with me. Taking off my glasses is the last thing I do.
Dakin: Yeh? I'll look forward to it.

Dakin: The more you read, though, the more you'll see that literature is actually about losers.
Scripps: No.
Dakin: It's consolation. All literature is consolation.

Dakin: What happened with Hector? On the bike?
Scripps: As per. Except I managed to get my bag down. I think he thought he'd got me going. In fact it was my Tudor Economic Documents, Volume 2.

[Fiona walks past. Dakin and Scripps gaze lustfully at her]
Dakin: Lecher though one is - or aspires to be - it occurs to me that the lot of woman cannot be easy, who must suffer such inexpert male fumblings, virtually on a daily basis. Are we scarred for life, do you think?
Scripps: We must hope so.

Tom Irwin: I didn't know you were that way inclined.
Dakin: I'm not, but it's the end of term; I've got into Oxford; I though we might push the boat out.

Dakin: [V/O] "How does history happen?" I asked Irwin. And he couldn't answer me. But now he knew. Nothing special.